Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
It was a great Thanksgiving!
This has been one of the first holidays I haven't had a panic attack. I'm sick, so I'm naturally feeling like not moving around much so I was under no obligation to anyone! 99.9% of the tiny blood family I have left is really toxic and I ended up moving from the West Coast to the East Coast so I could fully get them un-twined from my life. My parents are gone, one of my sisters died suddenly a few years ago. It didn't even matter that I wasn't out there because I wasn't told that my mom had even died, I found out during an internet search while bringing up my sister's obit to show a friend. It's so nice to have all that stupid stuff so far away.
I never again have to put on a costume and pretend I'm somebody I'm not only to have the matriarchal sister and her condescending Christian friends ridicule me. It was a great day not feeling a huge elephant on my chest and those nasty voices in my head screaming "not good enough!!!!!"
I think about this a lot while my husband and I are starting fertility treatment and maybe facing donor sperm. I'm not even a loved member of my blood family. It's the love and energy we put into each other that makes the little family DH and are a part of. If we do use donor sperm I want our child to know that we have love and gifts to share, we are not looking to be selfish with our decision. If they need to know who the donor is, if they need pictures we'll make sure that happens. I believe with all my heart we are worthy enough.
Having family inflicted PTSD has really made me try to keep my mind open so I don't mess our child up. Sometimes, to the point of anxiety. It's a tiring disease to be living with.
This has been one of the first holidays I haven't had a panic attack. I'm sick, so I'm naturally feeling like not moving around much so I was under no obligation to anyone! 99.9% of the tiny blood family I have left is really toxic and I ended up moving from the West Coast to the East Coast so I could fully get them un-twined from my life. My parents are gone, one of my sisters died suddenly a few years ago. It didn't even matter that I wasn't out there because I wasn't told that my mom had even died, I found out during an internet search while bringing up my sister's obit to show a friend. It's so nice to have all that stupid stuff so far away.
I never again have to put on a costume and pretend I'm somebody I'm not only to have the matriarchal sister and her condescending Christian friends ridicule me. It was a great day not feeling a huge elephant on my chest and those nasty voices in my head screaming "not good enough!!!!!"
I think about this a lot while my husband and I are starting fertility treatment and maybe facing donor sperm. I'm not even a loved member of my blood family. It's the love and energy we put into each other that makes the little family DH and are a part of. If we do use donor sperm I want our child to know that we have love and gifts to share, we are not looking to be selfish with our decision. If they need to know who the donor is, if they need pictures we'll make sure that happens. I believe with all my heart we are worthy enough.
Having family inflicted PTSD has really made me try to keep my mind open so I don't mess our child up. Sometimes, to the point of anxiety. It's a tiring disease to be living with.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Maybe starting New Traditions will bring more meaning back into the Holidays...I pray your fertility treatments work and/or get to adopt. Children are amazingly innocent love!
I used to think there was no one like me out there... Then I got sick and found a whole SLEW of Estrellas with the same thing right here on DS! :)
I'm ALL over Alice Miller these days. (Thanks again, Woodland!) Nearly done with "Banished Knowledge." I had been reading it simultaneously with "The Body Never Lies," but *you all* know how the PTS brain gets all wonky. (I'm gonna call it PTS from now on. Don't like the "D" or the "R"... it's just post traumatic stress. It's a natural and FAR HEALTHIER response to a totally unhealthy situation.) Anyway... Alice Miller - she talks a lot about family and not passing our issues on. Good stuff. Totally insightful. The sexual abuse stuff... never dealt with that as a child (anyway) so I am a little uncomfortable with it but thinking hard about my friends since SO many people with PTS suffer from sexual abuse. Really helpful. I want to absorb it as much as I can so I can help appropriately. :)