Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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No matter what I am slowly dying

deleted_user
deleted_user
I try. I try so hard. I have a great husband now. He understands as much as he can and he is very loving. I just have nightmares all the time. My nightmares have kicked it up a notch. I didn't even think that it was possible. I feel like I am sinking. Every night I have to escape my experson all over again. I wake up sick, angry, hateful. Last night in my dream he kissed me and I pushed him away. I was stuck in my old bedroom trying to remember how I escaped the last time. I could feel his beard and I hated him. When I woke up I felt dirty and sick. How does my brain relive all of this and why. Why does it torture me. I want to be free. I want to be free. I want to be free. I can't escape my mind and apparently my brain is an abusive asshole too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I want to be free too...I am back in the anger stage right now...thought I was pretty much through it...

I think processing through the nightmares and such might help...I don't know anymore...I need to find a new therapist, and seek her opinion.

I don't know whether to dredge through this, to detach from my Denial Mom, or what to do anymore.

I am tired of being a captive.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just wanted to leave you a message to let you know I read your post. I can't help much because I feel tortured by my own mind just like you. All I have to hold onto sometimes is that one day, someday, It will not hold me captive anymore. Even if it is the day I cross the jordan. There is hope somewhere.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I do not know if this will help. When I wake up with a nightmare; I tell myself over and over and over that "I am safe now". I even have to do
this during the day, when I am triggered. I feel so bad for you and wish I could help more.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Has something recently happed that have could triggerd you and your brain is trying to sort through it? It is only an idea and I only ask because I started with bad episodes after an episode with my husband and I hadn't had any major issues for years and years. I am in therapy with EMDR and I can't help but sing it's praises because it really helped me. Good luck. I am here to listen anytime.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i have the same problem. my therapist suggested that before i go to sleep that i put up a force shield around me so that nothing can break through. i usually pray that God will protect me from those dreams and put his angels all around me and in my room. most of the time it works. i hope that is of some help to you. i know how horrible it is to have these dreams xo
deleted_user
deleted_user
I take the propranolol to weaken the memory and I take an Ativan with a Klonopin to get to bed.

It could be the holidays coming and/or it could be your meds.

What do your therapist and doctor say?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I started seeing an old friend again and she got me talking about all that happened. I feel like I am under water and I resent it because I am trying so hard to move on. Thank you for all of your advice. You made me think of somethings that I can do to help myself and I don't feel so alone when I talk to you guys. Peace to you..love you lots xo
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you are having a hard time with the nightmares. They can be hard to deal with. I used to write some of mine down when they used to haunt me, so I could get some type of emotional release and not keep having them. Therapy helped too, someone to talk to them about. Sounds like you have a supportive husband, so that is good. But sounds like maybe you need to process the nightmares so you can get some good sleep. I wish you well.
deleted_user
deleted_user
take good care of yourself there arent easy answers you just need to rely on your supports keep your communication open and know your not alone.
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