i am 22 years old and spent the time from ages 14-18 in a religious cult or high-demand group started by my aunt. during the time, i was isolated from my family by my mother and forced to take on a 'spiritual' name, legally, against my will. my aunt was very controlling of the group and my mother was very controlling of me and i had little to no freedom or friends. i was 'walk-away' when i was 18 but i guess at the time i did not know the extent of the abuse i suffered. i dealt with a number of issues and recently alot of things hit hard this year. i sought treatment for lots of anxiety and some depression. my counselor thought i might have some post-traumatic stress but the C-PTSD hits home with me. i was on 10mg of lexapro that seemed to help for a while but now i think i need more help than that. i am not in therapy anymore because i cannot afford it. i get so frustrated because sometimes i feel like people think that i can just 'snap' myself out of this and i am like, 'there is something wrong.' i experience alot of 'floating', and i only learned that what i was experience had a name. i have dreams related to the cult where i am trapped back in the situation and cannot leave. then i feel spiritually disillusioned because of the spiritual abuse. i've got alot to work through. i would love to hear some thoughts .peace.
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