i have been raped twice, once when i was 13 by my bf at the time and then when i was 4 months pg with my daughter by a trusted friend. Well i'm finally starting to come to terms with everything and "heal" the best way I can. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and I've been trying to deal with it. Between being raped and also I have been in abusive relationships, most recent physical was my ex husband getting violent. Well it just seems every time that I get myself on my feet i get knocked down once again, and this time it envolves my daughter. I never wanted my daughter to experience anything like i've experienced. I've been doing the whole joint custody with my ex-husband and also trying to convince the courts he is an unsafe parent, well he topped it all off the last time he had her, my daughter (she's 4 1/2) has told her father numerous times over the past 9 months that she is very scared of his friend, but he refused to listen to his daughter, well while she was there his friend molested my daughter (there is a pending case right now) and her dad was IN THE ROOM! Her dna donor (he's not her father anymore in my opinion) believes his friend over his own daughter. I got a protection from abuse order on him so he has NO visitations with my daughter, we go back to court on the 24th to make it permenant. He is going around town telling people that i coaxed my daughter into saying this, being a victim myself I wouldn't dare put my child through this for NO reason. How can a father not believe his own child? and choose his friend over his own child? its so sick! Between all the abuse that he placed upon me, mentally and physically and the mental abuse my daughter has gone through i'm hoping that we win our case against him. He's very suicidal, and both of us have seen him try to kill himself in many different ways, he's threatened to kidnap her and has also threatened to harm her physically. I'm trying to be a strong mother for my daughter because she needs me right now, and i have a good support system backing me but it is soooo hard because my PTSD is flared back up and its making me doubt how strong i am and also the nightmares are horrible and i can't sleep again. I'm trying to find a way to be strong for her sake.
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