My roommate's dog is a good dog. He treats me like his bff. But he can be territorial about my roommate. She was painting my bathroom so I went into her room to use her. I didn't realize she was in there already. Upon entering her room, something I've done a hundred times including times when she was in there, he barked loudly at me and made me back out as he came towards me. I was frightened. She came out of the bathroom and he still growled at me but then went back to his usual self.
Less than an hour later, I walk into the kitchen and my roommate has headphones. She jumps and shouts and again the dog barks at me and moves toward me.
This dog has never hurt me. But my ptsd has been bad and this isn't helping. Now I'm a little worried about going near her when the dog is around.
I told her that's the second time today he's been aggressive with me by being overprotective with her. She blew it off as him reacting to her being startled by my walking into the kitchen. But that doesn't take into account me walking into the bedroom.
The truth is I doubt this dog would ever hurt me. This is actually the first time that this has happened. He did react territorial when I first moved in but then realized I'm his new bestie. I had to avoid her bedroom until he got to know me but now I walk in and no problem until now. It might be bc she was in there but I didn't know and I just had to pee. Today was weird. Idk why he is acting like this today. He's usually more chill when I enter now when she's in there. Maybe her being on the toilet pumped up his protective instinct or something.
Her blowing it off bugs me but doesn't surprise me. She's not the pour your heart out to her type. At all. But we get along well.
I think I'm just on high alert bc mother's day is tomorrow and I friggen hate mother's day. And my mood has been slipping since I had injections in my back to control pain. It was also a trigger to go through that again. And then I messed up and canceled too late a few times at one school for subbing (because I physically and mentally couldn't do it) and they don't want me to come back. I don't blame them. It wasn't my favorite school anyway. But that got me worried about my job and if I'll have one again next year.
My roommate, a former substitute teacher and now full teacher, was also asked not to come back to a school for being on her cell phone too much. She said she worried about it too but she continued to sub without a problem. So I doubt it will be a problem intellectually. It's hard to get fired as a sub. But my monkey brain is losing it over that, beating myself up for canceling too late in the system.
I'm glad summer is almost here. Subbing has been hard and I have another 2 weeks to go. I really want to use the summer to go to therapy, work in PT and just start to feel better and get a routine going. I'm also going to be working as a weekend wine ambassador and am working on launching my first e-commerce store. I hope to launch it on my birthday, Aug 27th.
I want to go back to subbing but only after I'm in better shape physically and mentally so I don't have this problem again next year.
Just feeling down and hard on myself for that. No amount of talking back to the inner critic seems to be helping right now.
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