I don't understand why or how this happened to me. I did pretty well most of life up until October of last year. I have always dusted myself off and moved forward. ANything that happened to me, I believed it was just meant to be. A lesson to be learned somewhere. I saw my husband in uniform last night and this morning and i felt so much panic. He is not going over seas, he is only gonna be gone for 3 weeks. Why doesn't my brain get that? I feel so much fear that he won;'t come back even when he goes to work 30 mins away. THe uniform freaks me out. It is not rational thinking,I know it, but it is how I feel. My therapist insists we need to look at the things I experienced when I was a child, but I don't understand how all those years I handled things. I had bad and good days like anyone, but reality was reality. Now I don't know. I don't want to get stuck on this, but even as I am writing this everything in me feels as if though he never came back. WHat is wrong with me? I have had a good week, peaceful for the most part. I dropped him off this morning at 7:00am and I just don't know what to think. I apologize for going long. I just can't ask anyone else around me.
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