
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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My husband has been having an affair for the past year. I found out in April of this year. He moved out in June and is still seeing this woman who is a friend of ours and who is employed by us. He states that he is confused about what to do. He talks about coming home and that he thinks about us but then doesn't make any firm committments either way. Recently he stated that he is having memories and recalling vivid details of his childhood. He was witness to an abusive mother who beat his younger sisters. He was the protector and has always been resonsible. loyal and honest. Is this Post Traumatic Stress syndrome? Is my crying triggering something?
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HMMMM. so here you are asking about his trauma...so when does he take responsibility for his actions & life???
Crying is not a crime and if he has left you then why wouldn't you be crying?
HUGS
If this is an example of being responsible why doesn't he do something to stop your tears like stop hurting you? It's not my fault, you are making me do it is the classic excuse of the abuser to the abused. I cant work out where honest and loyal fits in with cheating on you either.
You have good reasons to cry.
It is common. It happened to me. I heard the words "I love you. I'd do anything for you." Heard them every day. Yet every day turned to be about my ex's issues and dramas. And below the radar, every day was about abuse. I could not see it. It made no sense. Couldn't believe this most special person in my life could be hurtful, let alone hateful, let alone twisted and evil. But such was the case.
Whatever the root cause of your PTSD, someone like that feeds it and grows it because it serves their purposes.
I mean damn, he treated you like that and now he's tell you, that you haven't the right to cry? Does he think you have the right to breathe, then?
Yuck.
The drama is all about his issues. He sounds like a cluster B to me, a BPD or NPD.
Whether or not he has PTSD does not excuse him from treating you like a doormat! None of us on here (hope I can speak for everyone) would treat someone that way and claim PTSD as an excuse. We all have to be responsible for our choices. He's playing you... He knows he's keeping you on the hook while he waffles about which girl he likes better... Is that a hook you want to hang on?
I can already see what may happen next. You're going to get fed up with him (finally!) and tell him to $%^& off - Hooray, good for you!
Then he's going to pull another guilt card just like the one he just pulled on you. When you tell him you don't want him anymore, he's going to call you a few days later and say he's having thoughts of suicide. Yep, I've heard this all before. Don't buy it. Tell him to do whatever he wants to with his life - It has nothing to do with you.
It's time for you to hear what your real friends are saying: He's a psychological abuser who is feeding off controlling you emotionally.
I wish I were there to give you a big hug and to tell him off myself!
Meanwhile... Is there something in your own past that you are avoiding dealing with? It sounds like he knew exactly which strings to pull. You might benefit from talking with a therapist while you build a new and better life for yourself. In the meantime, we are all here if you want to talk here.
Blessings,
Wistala
Hugs to you.
I read and must agree with the others that your husband seems to be triggering you. No matter what his condition is there is no problem with crying my therapist wants me to cry as I have trouble leting it out. It is good for you to release that way and not hold it in. He is the one that messed up he should not be putting demands on you. Go ahead and cry you will feel better about it in the long run and its about you not him.
Take Care Grant