My mind will not stop tonight. Keeps telling me im useless becuase of the severe chronic pain im in all the time. My pain and my diabetes (test 7 time a day and 5 shots a day) run my life. I have requested a thearpist that deals with people with Chronic pain and health issues. Even pain meds only bring my pain down at MOST to a 5 but normally a 7. Some days not even to a 7. I just started emgality for my migraines its suppose to reduce them by at least half. I pray that it works i have them daily and severely! Depression is swirling in my head tonight. Telling me im useless as well becuase of my abuse i been thru that the rapes define me, the sexual abuse from my late husband defines me makes me dirty and used. That i deserved the beatings and maritial rape that i owed him sex. I feel like it defines who i am as a person and that it makes me awful. I just cant stand how i feel about myself tonight. My health runs my life and my past runs my thoughts and both are driving me crazy at 330am. ugh
how do you guys deal with the fear of being abandoned due to past events? been to therapy for years but going over the past over and over and over again just brings out the fear more..