Post off topic
I did something stupid and was rushed straight into intensive care on heart monitors and being put on meds to keep my heart going. They were saying we are trying to keep you alive at the point in time. My heart rate and blood pressure was dangerously low. The medicine they had give me to keep my heart pumping made me vomit non stop. I was heaving heavy and just throwing up bile. It was pretty scary being told u could die any second. I decided not to tell anyone of this situation and just told my boyf i had oded and was in hospital but he still doesnt know how serious. I feel very weak and cant breathe very well. My blood pressure is still vwry low but i signed out the hosputal against medical notice because of my autism i was having huge mealt downs and they didnt have enough staff to support me despite all their efforts to make me stay i couldnt.
So im at home way to early and im terrified im going to collapase. I never wanted to die. I didnt od to die. I was just frustrated a great deal. I knew oding on beta blockers was dangerous bit i thought nah it wont happen to me il be just fine.
Feel free to pick more than one. : )
I realized this past week that I need to take the time to grieve. I lived a lot of years throughout my life where I couldn't do any grieving because I was so distracted and busy caring for others and being entrenched in unhealthy attachments that I just kept putting it off and stuffing it down. Now that my youngest has moved out, I have more time to just "be" and the emotions are starting to...