Graphic talk tw. i sware to god im loosing my mind.
Last night i woke up to a axe being thrown into my head, just laid there paralyised like when the chain saw slit my throat feeling every feeling that ud have if it really happened and feeling of blood squirting out but not being able to move.
I keep seeing people in the bedroom then float off, i see letters written in blood on the wall , People up in my face ect.
Am i loosing my mind? Why is this happening again? Its only night time upon waking. I know its a diagnosable thing but they say its nothing to worry about.
But hey, its only affecting my mood and tiredness levels. I feel insane. I cant tell if im talking to them out loud for real or not.
Im just so confused.
I have out of work for 5 years taking care of my dad. Now he is stable. He was helping me out with money but that is coming to an end. I am RN and want to do direct patient care. So far my applications have gone no where at the hospitals I applied to. Now I am applying at nursing homes online. I am really getting down with the rejections. But at the same time I just sit in my bed not going out...
I didn't want to get up today. Just not feeling it. Sad lonely Deppresed and with the holidays coming I just don't care. Wish I could hide in a hole till next year and start over. Life is just to much for me