I’ve been going through so much lately that you would think I’d be reaching out more, I do when I can but lately I’ve been maybe dissociating but I think it’s a little different. In the past ive been so spaced out not there dissociating. But lately I’ve so much I’m trying to battle physically (& emotionally) so much stirring in my head but I just can’t write it, can’t get it out. I read posts on here & want to respond & then freeze up. This has though been a pattern in my life that when I’m going through really hard times I go quite & don’t tell or express it.
Idk probably none of this made any sense, I wish I could get stuff out. Sometimes it all feels too bad & I feel like I’ve been so screwed up & brutalized that people would just be like woah & not know what to say which makes me feel isolated.
I really don’t want to be broken forever
Maybe I should attempt to write another journal, if I can idk
I need to heal a little bit, I’m trying but scared & don’t want to be a hopeless story
I hope I don’t delete this post or hate on myself for writing it & posting it
Sorry if anyone can feel the negative energy from this post
Not sure if I should be writing in this kind of a headspace or if this it the time I should reach out when I’m in this headspace .....
Caught in-laws keeping teenage son s smoking from me and wife. Told them they were wrong. They cut me out and wife still does whatever they want. She speak s to them in different language so I can't understand and just left me out of photo calendar gift for all her family, just her and our kids. She tells me she loves me and I know she is not cheating, but per Facebook no mention of being married...
In 2010, my therapist finally suggested that I estrange myself from my family because they've been my primary abusers since I was a little boy. The abuse started with wife beatings by my father on my mother, then spread to his beating me bloody, and eventually apparently spread to my dad's workplace, too. I was estranged from him at the time because of another of his violent...