I started building an e-commerce website that I was eventually going to combine with my own writing and photography. I've been going at it hard the past few days. But I have a problem.
In addition to cptsd, I had back surgery 2 years ago and still struggle to get full strength and endurance back. I've been dealing with a lot of pain lately. I was in PT but ran out of sessions the last year. And when I called this year, I found out my fav pt was transferred. I tried another one but we didn't click.
My doc referred me to another PT who I scheduled with but then was told he was on vacation so now I have to reschedule with them.
I also struggle with peripheral neuropathy. I take medicaiton for pain, neuropathy, and a muscle relaxant. The don't work on their own. I have to take them together. But it makes me feel drugged all day. I hate it. I tried to reduce the dosage of one but still feel drugged. I think Gabapentin and Tramadol are the ones put together are making me feel this way. But mostly the Gabapentin.
Gabapentin is what I use for the neuropathy. Because I've been working so hard on the store, my neuropathy got worse. It was already getting worse without pT so I know I need to schedule with that pt.
I just feel defeated. I can barely feel my right hand typing this. I am going to check in here but stay off the computer for a few days. I am already aware of voice software like dragon to type with your voice. I looked into it before but my hands got better so I didn't get it. Now, I think I need it.
I just feel defeated and despondent. Not suicidal but feel like I need to put my side projects on hold, focus on pt and emdr, and substitute teach. In the summer, I'll be doing more brand ambassador work.
I don't want to put anything on hold. I'm a full steam ahead type of person. And since depression is better, I want to keep going. But physically and mentally, my limitations put together may me feel like throwing in the towel. Not in life. But on my side projects.
I think they need to go on hold until I resume PT for a while. I also see a pain specialist on Tuesday. I'm hoping he has more ideas other than drugging me or shooting needles into my spine.
I'm also reconsidering ECt. My mood lift was short lived. I'm gonna get the referral for it this week and see what they say at the consultation and how I feel at the time.
So am I doing the right thing, putting it all on hold, focusing on my health and the work I do now? I still struggle to get through the day subbing but at least it's not mentally demanding. It's just physically tough. Which I know from experience will get better with PT.
Sorry, I think I'm babbling a bit now. Just need some words of encouragement and people telling me it's the right thing to do now.
some of you wrote some really encouraging things on an earlier post of mine. Thank you, as always, for your authenticity and gentle explanations of a hard truth. I especially liked the metaphors. I can not in this moment find hope for myself to be where you are.I’m not sure how you did it and I don’t think that I can. I am a Christian. We are either delusional or we are right when it comes...
It's a new day and I have read a lot of comments as I drank coffee with music. The clouds and rain have moved out now so maybe a short stint at the art festival?This really helps me because the majority of people there are caught in "wonder" of what they seeing and exploring. I feel the interest and will strike up some small conversations of the representations and the processes of the...