I don't know how to put this into words very well...so bear with me...this is part of my PTSD issues...

My therapist told me that by having dreams, you are like working through the trauma.

I believe that in giving those dreams a voice and processing them, that you can take those dreams and move them from a temporary storage place that allows them to keep popping up, and move them to a more permanent place in your brain, so they will be there, you won't forget them, but they have been processed, and will stop popping up all the time. That is my opinion, and has been formed by researching info on processing therapies.

You do have to go THROUGH the trauma to heal. It's the ONLY way out is THROUGH. You can't shove it to the back of your mind.

You have to release it, release your story, anger, shame, guilt etc....and HEAL from it. It's a lifelong journey that gets better with time and healing.

I don't think it is necessary to force yourself to remember repressed memories, but there may be a time that they will come back to you as you heal.

Trauma Recovery...Healing...Going THROUGH it.

It's not the fun way, but it's the way to a more peaceful life, and to finding joy in life.

And, I recently read something about aches, pains, MS and fibromyalgia from abuse. I'll see if I can find it again.

Come with us THROUGH the Journey to Heal.

There is Hope in Healing!

Hopefully you have a therapist you've been working with since you have the PTSD diagnosis. There are specific treatments in place for those of us with this disorder and you don't get better if you don't get the treatment. Fear is the biggest obstacle in this disorder but hopefully your therapist has begun to give you the tools needed to do the work. If it's still too soon for you I don't think you'll remember your dreams, but now that the chiropractor has implanted the suggestion, you may. Be strong, build your support network and don't be afraid to use them. If pills help, use them, but know they are not the cure. The emotional work you do with the therapist and your support network is what will really help.

There are some articles about how to know if a therapist is good for you at the website below. They make some sense to me, so I am thinking about a first step to work on them this week.

http://www.alice-miller.com/articles_en.php?lang=en&nid=61&grp=15

I'm struggling with this myself, scared to feel my feelings because of my bad experiences with therapists and hospitals.

TLC Daisy is so very right. This is something you need. Through this option, you may one day get your life back. If you don't face the pain, it will stay with you and manifest in any number of ways, physically and mentally. THAT will be unbearable for a lifetime. Please let us help you through the pain as it rises to the surface. I just went through something similar, and was hurting a new, healthy marriage as I pushed the memories back. I started to show fear around people that would never hurt me. Eventually, it was through my dreams, where I saw my abuser that I finally took my power and my sanity back. (He beat me and played mind games and abused me emotionally and verbally for two years, non stop.) Please feel free to contact me if you need any help along the way. I am no expert, but I have not been scared since the night I made myself confront it all. I unleashed all of my suffering that night. I am not saying you are ready for that, but I will pray that someday you can be.

I'm sorry you are so scared of dreaming and remembering what happened to you. I have found my dreams very helpful through the years. Doesn't mean I liked them, but it helped me to move on with my life. I can also relate to not wanting to remember anything. I'm at the point now where I feel like I have remembered enough. I also don't believe that you will relive the whole time with your husband. I think our minds and hearts and souls release what they need to to heal. Again I'm sorry you are afraid but you have come to a supportive place. Thank you for posting such an honest gut wrenching post. I'm here if you ever need to message or vent, etc. I didn't start remembering my abuse until I got in my 30's.

I know how you feel.And like the others I agree, this is a big part of PTSD.My councelor has told me that it is not nessasary to remember the past you can't quite remember now.It is your brains way of protecting you, to block it.You may get to a point where you do want to remember or not.Both are perfectly fine.Your dreams , all of ours for that matter is the brain trying to make sense of things, and that can be terrifiying for us.I was druged with GHB and only remember parts of a gangrape when I would come to to groggy and paralized to move, ny body would not respond to me.I remember getting out the door as they sleptkicking the door making one of them unlock it or hear me keep screaming.I don't remember anything after that.Not how I got to my truck, not how I got home or even where I was when I was raped, all I knew was it was an apartment with keyed locks on the inside of the door.I have been told that if my brain thinks I am ready I will remember those things I forgot.Or I might come to a place of concidering hypnosis to remember.But only if and when I am ready.
I hope I have helped you with this hugs n prayers