Maybe I mean I feel like screaming. (Been on DS for maybe 12 yrs. Haven't posted in forever.)
My therapist triggered me really badly last week. (Don't criticize her please. I know why she did it.) It was an accident. Not about bringing up the topic, but because the timing was very bad. I've been freaking out ever since. That empty, numb feeling. Surreal almost. I feel lost. I feel like I should be able to just brush this off. I feel like I'm being dramatic and childish and immature and I need to just stop. I'm not obsessing over the thing from last week anymore. I've blocked it off again. The wall has lost some rocks but it still stands.
Today she said my needs exceed her training. I can still see her, but she thinks I should see somebody for some therapy called EMDR.
I feel like a failure. I failed at therapy. I didn't "apply myself." I feel abandoned. Intellectually, I know she hasn't; I know I didn't. The feeling persists.
I want to stop crying right now. I want to go to sleep. I want to want to do something.
I don't want to be alone. I'm so very alone. I feel so scared.
Go away head. Go away scary people. Go away.
For the last two weekends, I spoke at churches about PTSD and recovery. Then I taught death and dying classes at my community college in my full time job during the week. After class, a student came to office for a good cry over her dying parent. Then I volunteered at the hospital in the evening answering a call to visit a college staff member's parent in crisis over there.I don't have to...
Hi, my name is Lily and I wanted to introduce myself and say Hi. I found out I had Bipolar and have a hard time to make friends in real life. This may be a place to make friends. I am on meds and somewhat stable now but it seems to go back and fourth sometimes. Today I don't feel motivated but am trying to get there.