Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I have been dealing with my abuse for about 10 years now and things had been going ok for me. Then I started having major health problems and lost my job and had to move home with my parents. Back into the house I was abuse in for nearly 10 years. I have started having flashbacks and panic attacks. I am having to see or hear from my abuser all the time. My dad doesn't seem to understand why I am not "over it" by now and why we just can't be friends. I am so tired of having that discussion with him and no matter what I say he just doesn't get it. I think that my family would be better off if I was gone. My abuse has ruined my entire family and if I died they wouldn't have to think about it all the time. I have been praying that I could just die and came close a few weeks ago but it didn't happen and that is why my mind keeps going to suicide as the answer. I just can't take all the stress, pressure and unhappiness that I have brought upon my family.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
That was a traumatic experience for you...and still haunts you.
I know finances are probably hard for you right now...but you may feel better getting out of that house, and away from all the triggers and memories of being SA. Being there is a constant reminder, whether you realize it or not...your subconcious knows it.
Have you applied for Social Security Disability yet? If not, you might consider that.
Also, are you seeing a therapist?? That might help.
Also a good Pdoc trained in PTSD would be great benefit to help your symptoms.
It's hard to go it alone.
The blame and shame doesn't belong with you. It belongs to your abuser(s)...don't hold onto it yourself.
It's not your fault it has ruined your family. It's the abuser's fault. You were an innocent child. The abuser took your innocence, your trust.
Don't listen to a word the abuser says, he will deny everything. You know the truth and the truth will set you free.
If they are not willing to acknowledge how sick you are, then you need to set limits and boundaries for your own mental well-being.
Check out www.sidran.org for lots of info on PTSD and therapist referrals.
Also, check EMDR.com for therapist referrals. EMDR is a new technique used in trauma therapy...
Check out my two 11/3/07 Journal Entries for tons of info/weblinks on SA and PTSD.
There is Hope in Healing!
Okay, the feelings are *TOTALLY VALID* but it's not the truth.
I have my Geodon and Propranolol and I feel NORMAL now. If my crazy ass mom popped up I am pretty confident I could deal with her. I went through ALL this paperwork today from the people who discriminated against me. Guess what? NOT ONE TRIGGER! YAY! :) So, go bug your doc about it!
Now as far as your family, if you took an honest, objective look at who they are as human beings and who you are - as if you're all just strangers and you're evaluating as an indifferent observer, do you "really" think THEY are worth it??? Do you *really* want them to win??? And you, how awesome are you? So, you're in a rough patch, do you criticize any of us for a rough patch? Would you be upset at an abused child who wasn't able to handle being stuck in the MIDDLE of it? NO! You would have COMPASSION for that child and you would want to protect her from the bad people. So... GO PROTECT HER! She's YOU! :-p
You need to be somewhere else. Go to your doc about those meds. If you're body works anything like mine, you'll feel better in less than a week. Then, we gotta get you onto Section 8 and I don't know what all else, but you HAVE to get out of there!
So, I'll help you figure out who to call and where to go. You start with stabilizing because I can't physically be present. Then we'll get you to a safe house. We need you, not the abusers. Seriously, do you *really* want them to win?
Shelley
I was reading over what you wrote. Without knowing more than that or the area you live in (I know it matters for services)I would say to go to a domestic violence shelter, one that offers a case worker. You need to be separated from that house and someone to help look at your situation to figure out what to do next.
All is not lost and you do not have to be there. United Way is a good place to start looking for one in your area since they fund so many non-profits. There is a place on their site to find the one nearest you (united way) then to look up organizations in your area.
Start there and dont give up. :)
I use to be a case worker and was studing sociology while I was in school... if you need to bounce something off me just let me know. I'll try to help you the best that I can. My specialty was I worked with the homeless community and housing.
Good luck :)