I am angry right now and fed up. Why is it that when ever I start felling better people start complaining I am being negative. I do not see it in fact I fell more positive then I have in a long time. I do not get it?
My husband this morning took me I was being negative but refused to talk any further about it because he did not want to start a fight. I rambled about hI'm not supporting and was more than a little pissed off.
Right now he was gone to his God place as I call it. He starts each day by saying it is going to be a great day. Which is great but then it is followed by a rant about how much smarter he is than others and how his brain is working so effiently in the new job to solve complex issues etc. I listen to 15 minutes of him saying the same things over and over but it boils down to I am so much smarter than everyone else.
OK Mr smarties pants, I have had it. If you think I am that horribe of a person, negative, ugly, unlovablet. ..etc, that you got your freedom to find a better mate. I will set you free to find a mate who is worthy of your love and affection and support.
I am done trying. I will go do what society want me to do. Live a lonely life in poverty in some run down piece of cap apartment on the wrong side of town. I am done with people I do not understand them the harder you try the more they tear you down. F it I am done or marriage is done.
Yes I am being negative and I realize that. I hope I can get an apartment. I am worried about the financial debt I am in but what the F if I cannot I will know my way out. The world will be a better place without such a negative piece of crap as me. Maybe just maybe the world will allow me to live isolated in a small piece of crap apartment.
With COVID-19, quarantine and civil unrest how are you doing? I feel like I am living in a scary film that just goes on and on, do you feel this way? I keep working on my coping and relaxation techniques but am ready for this movie to end. Are you working on a project or craft to distract your self? How are you coping? Wishing you safety, calmness and peace.