How do you feel like you got away from abuse when you still feel the physical, emotional & mental pain of it everyday
- very much so the physical pain makes it feel like did I ever really get away, I mean he didn’t murder me like he wanted to because I finally escaped, but the physical pain makes me still feel like I’ll never get away from the abuse, like I’m still being beat & abused every day & night when the pain never leaves, why did I escape & not get killed & escape getting stalked just to live in this much pain alone every day
im a 35 year old fucked up nothing
sorry if this post is so awful & horrible, I’m in such a bad place that I don’t know what to do anymore
As I have pondered the results of my recent "Testing" post, the term, "Gaslighting" has been floating through the ponderations like a street sign. When I finally started taking my amnesia therapy seriously in the mid to late 80's, the term was used extensively to help me explore what was going on with my memory dysfunctions and resulting psychoses (pl). I was self-gaslighting like a toxic mother...
I have to work with a lot of priveledged, snobby people. I feel like I would rather die than serve them. It is nearly impossible for me to find of job, due to me current situation. So, I know I "should" stick it out. However, ethically, I don't know that I can. Suicide honestly seems to outweigh serving those monsters.