I have to go to the daycare and help them clean the basement and I am terrified I am going to have a panic attack there... It is fully packed floor to ceiling with garbage and spiders and I am terrified of spiders... I HATE SPIDERS...!!! I was placed into an empty freezer that was turned to very cool but not freezing with spiders in our basement when I was a kid as a way of torturing me, my father did this to me on top of electric shock and other wierd stuff... I am freaking out I don't want to be in a basement with spiders I don't want to disappoint my employer I called her already as I am an hour late and have not left the house... But I was calling her to be honest and I panicked and said I had a headache then I said I would take Advil and come anyway... Now I feel like a lier even though MY head does hurt... But from crying not from a headache... I have been crying and lying on the floor for an hour... Now I am writing here because I am trying to get the courage to face my fears and go to work and not let my employer down...!!!! My heart is racing and my head hurts and I can't stop crying but I am way to embarrassed to call her like this... What do I do...???
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