Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Can we? I think not!!! I am so tired of hearing this said to me in words and with the eyes. It has been so long since such and such happened why are you still there? It doesn't matter how long it has been it is still there, you don't "get over it".
I was a neglected and abused kid. "Get over it". The brainwashing that was done is hard to overcome. Whenever I was hurt it was ignored. The first time I was sexually abused there was no one there for me. I pushed it down, way down. Get over it?
When I was a teen something happened that I still can't address fully. I remember pieces and they don't quite come together it is all so fragmented. How to come to terms with something that is somewhere in your mind but you don't know what except that it was brutal and had to do with sex. Get over it?
At 19 I had a boyfriend that picked me up, threw me against the car and started choking me. I called him a lier. When I came to his mom was pulling him off of me, I would be dead if it wasn't for his little sister who went to get his mom. I can still feel his hands around my neck. Get over it?
I found a man who was wonderful to me and we fell in love. We married and had a great life. One day I was alone and driving over a mountain where there was a snow squal and I lost control, doing so put me in the way of an 18-wheeler. I went under it. I suffered more mental pain then physical pain after this experience. I think that I am alive from this because I believe I threw myself across the passenger seat before impact. I don't remember much of impact. Get over it?
The year following the accident was a disaster. My dad died, my husbands mom died, and I had another accident. Then on December 16, 13 months after going under the 18-wheeler, nightmare, I got a call from the police that they found my husband on the road near death. I don't remember how I got to the police station let alone the hospital. They thought that someone beat him up and left him there. Don't know why he was on the road that night. I stayed with him through recovery and every day I would think that there was someone out there wanting to kill him. They moranizied me thinking I had something to do with this. Eleven months after he was found on the side of the road they started the investigation from scratch, they were at a loss and wanted the case solved. They started with the Department of Trasportation who, at the time of the accident, said they didn't see anyone on the road. When they asked the driver about that night he said, "I need to talk to my lawyer." Bingo, they knew then that the driver hit my husband. They still denyed everything. But it was proven they did it. Still my husband was never the same, three years after being hit, "a glancing blow", he still had global aphasia (communication was 20%) and he was violent, he never was before the accident. I couldn't live with him anymore. We divorced. The guilt I carry about that and the pain, I don't think will ever leave me. Get over it?
Still numb and realing but not knowing how bad I was, I met another man and we married. He was not pleasant. As the numbness wore off I began to understand how brutal this man was and so I told him that he had to leave. Before he left he .... I can't even write it down. I will say he did not leave peacefully. I was in pain for three months after he left. Get over it?
On the plus side I do have 2 kids that are my
pride and joy.
I thought that I could get understanding from my church and clergy. No. I needed to pray more, don't think about it so much, aren't you a Christian? One day there was a snow storm and I was freaking someone, upon hearing my accident story form someone there, asked, "Isn't she a Christian?" When going through a flash I am no one. I have no prayers. When telling a different paster my story, I didn't get through half of it and his eyes glazed over. He couldn't handle it and he was a man of the cloth.
I see a therapist who is helping me understand that if people haven't been through it they don't understand. Have no clue. There is someone I met that has also helped me though he has done nothing much, with regard to my PTSD, but understand. He is also suffering with PTSD. In a recent minor, I repeat minor, accident where I wasn't hurt physically, my friends, who always try to understand were, themselves confussed about my behavior which was to almost shut down. One wanted to send me to the hospital another had no clue what to do. My other friend with PTSD waited and understood.
Do you get flashbacks? Do you call them up? Do you want them? Get over it!!!!! I know and understand that that doesn't happen totally. I am working on getting them where they belong, in a memory. Not a pleasant memory but also not an in your face terror of a flashback.
I use to feel I was alone, in a box by myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD some time back but I thought I was over it. Silly me!!!! I was diagnosed with PTSD a second time. Lucky me!!!
But it helps knowing that I am not alone, not in a box, so to speak. Slowly I am beginning to understand that I am normal for someone who has gone through the abnormal.
Take care, PTSD community and "Get over it". :)
spider8
I was a neglected and abused kid. "Get over it". The brainwashing that was done is hard to overcome. Whenever I was hurt it was ignored. The first time I was sexually abused there was no one there for me. I pushed it down, way down. Get over it?
When I was a teen something happened that I still can't address fully. I remember pieces and they don't quite come together it is all so fragmented. How to come to terms with something that is somewhere in your mind but you don't know what except that it was brutal and had to do with sex. Get over it?
At 19 I had a boyfriend that picked me up, threw me against the car and started choking me. I called him a lier. When I came to his mom was pulling him off of me, I would be dead if it wasn't for his little sister who went to get his mom. I can still feel his hands around my neck. Get over it?
I found a man who was wonderful to me and we fell in love. We married and had a great life. One day I was alone and driving over a mountain where there was a snow squal and I lost control, doing so put me in the way of an 18-wheeler. I went under it. I suffered more mental pain then physical pain after this experience. I think that I am alive from this because I believe I threw myself across the passenger seat before impact. I don't remember much of impact. Get over it?
The year following the accident was a disaster. My dad died, my husbands mom died, and I had another accident. Then on December 16, 13 months after going under the 18-wheeler, nightmare, I got a call from the police that they found my husband on the road near death. I don't remember how I got to the police station let alone the hospital. They thought that someone beat him up and left him there. Don't know why he was on the road that night. I stayed with him through recovery and every day I would think that there was someone out there wanting to kill him. They moranizied me thinking I had something to do with this. Eleven months after he was found on the side of the road they started the investigation from scratch, they were at a loss and wanted the case solved. They started with the Department of Trasportation who, at the time of the accident, said they didn't see anyone on the road. When they asked the driver about that night he said, "I need to talk to my lawyer." Bingo, they knew then that the driver hit my husband. They still denyed everything. But it was proven they did it. Still my husband was never the same, three years after being hit, "a glancing blow", he still had global aphasia (communication was 20%) and he was violent, he never was before the accident. I couldn't live with him anymore. We divorced. The guilt I carry about that and the pain, I don't think will ever leave me. Get over it?
Still numb and realing but not knowing how bad I was, I met another man and we married. He was not pleasant. As the numbness wore off I began to understand how brutal this man was and so I told him that he had to leave. Before he left he .... I can't even write it down. I will say he did not leave peacefully. I was in pain for three months after he left. Get over it?
On the plus side I do have 2 kids that are my
pride and joy.
I thought that I could get understanding from my church and clergy. No. I needed to pray more, don't think about it so much, aren't you a Christian? One day there was a snow storm and I was freaking someone, upon hearing my accident story form someone there, asked, "Isn't she a Christian?" When going through a flash I am no one. I have no prayers. When telling a different paster my story, I didn't get through half of it and his eyes glazed over. He couldn't handle it and he was a man of the cloth.
I see a therapist who is helping me understand that if people haven't been through it they don't understand. Have no clue. There is someone I met that has also helped me though he has done nothing much, with regard to my PTSD, but understand. He is also suffering with PTSD. In a recent minor, I repeat minor, accident where I wasn't hurt physically, my friends, who always try to understand were, themselves confussed about my behavior which was to almost shut down. One wanted to send me to the hospital another had no clue what to do. My other friend with PTSD waited and understood.
Do you get flashbacks? Do you call them up? Do you want them? Get over it!!!!! I know and understand that that doesn't happen totally. I am working on getting them where they belong, in a memory. Not a pleasant memory but also not an in your face terror of a flashback.
I use to feel I was alone, in a box by myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD some time back but I thought I was over it. Silly me!!!! I was diagnosed with PTSD a second time. Lucky me!!!
But it helps knowing that I am not alone, not in a box, so to speak. Slowly I am beginning to understand that I am normal for someone who has gone through the abnormal.
Take care, PTSD community and "Get over it". :)
spider8
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
But, if you have not been through it yourself, you don't understand.
I am dealing with my family right now, that thinks somethings are just normal, and you pick yourself up and go on. Hello? PTSD is much more than depression...worse.
My husband is verging on the diagnosis of PTSD. My family thinks it's a bunch of BS, and he needs to get over it, that's all normal stuff that everyday people encounter and get over it. What do they know? NOTHING about psych, besides their depression. It's how it affects one's perception of the event that impacts their psych impact.
My Dad had the simpleness to ask if I was on Prozac or something.
HELLO? I said 'DAD...Geez, I am way beyond Prozac...I am on .........'and explained it all to him, more than he will remember and comprehend.
My husband didn't have major traumas, besides his childhood, but they impacted him significantly: Emotional/Verbal abuse as child/teen/adult by parents, Loss of Well-paying Union Job in 2003, started our own HVAC business and had to close it in 2006...financial failure, near-death mental experience in car wreck...T-Boned on 4 lane highway in 12/2006...thought he was going to die. Plus, we are struggling with financial issues now, possible loss of our home, dealing with me and my PTSD.
People are clueless...I don't know how to clue them in.
I've been trying to find a video that describes PTSD well to the families.
I thought of telling them I am like a Military Vet with PTSD...they seem to get that...I am just like that, but with my own traumas.
Why can't you sleep at night?? Well, go to bed earlier. Nag, Nag, Nag...If only I could, I would. DUH!
I do not talk to people about these things unless I know they have an understanding of it. it isn't fruitful for them or myself. Part of this is understanding boundaries.
I no longer go to the grocery store in order to buy a couch or a CD player. I no longer speak to individuals that do not have the emotional intelligence or strength to talk about such matters.
I don't tell most of my friends that I have PTSD...I just do not go there. I talk to my therapist and a few friends. That is all. My business, mine to deal with and no one is gong to save me. Might seem sort of lonely but if you put efforts doing something you enjoy then you produce new experiences with yourself and those can be shared with others.
Trauma and abuse...that is for the board, for support groups, for the therapist and for the friends that know how to support and that is all. That way I do not have to hear...get over it. I am not over it and these directions are not a resource.
Those words "get over it" are simply a means of saying...I don't want to listen , I don't want to know because i can not do anything about it and it is bringing me down or making me uncomfortable. It also might mean that they are not willing to look at there own stuff because it is too painful and they are not ready yet.
Take care spider8
heard them all, used to hurt my feelings that people weren't more understanding, now, i've learned not to really talk much about it except to my councelor & here. most ppl are uncomfortable w/difficult emotional states...it creates a space where they have to feel something or look at their own emotions.. hang in here, we understand and will never tell you to get over it!
and i agree... i HATE the 'get over it's.. "don't dwell on it," blah blah blah. they don't understand. we need to deal with it until we are over it. it takes as long as it takes.