I had a great day today. Enjoyable evening. I was just sitting down to read some beautiful fanfiction about family and hope.
It was beautifully written. Stunning descriptions of moonlight breaking through shadows and scattering through windows.... I was really enjoying it. Then, it, very briefly, mentioned abuse. Very briefly implied abuse... no descriptions. Just a line a character says. The line shocked me because I had no idea going into it that that subject was even going to be included. I should've read the description better.
But it washed over me like a cold bucket of water. My fuzzy feelings, the sense of contentment lingering from the day, and my and admiration for the descriptive and poetic words--were ripped from me in that moment.
It sucks how one thing--a single line in a book, or story, or movie or video game, can so rip you from a moment of contentment. A single line can take you back, can draw sadness from you, and rob you of those contented feelings.
I'm not going to let my night end like this. Im going to take a shower, and watch cute cat videos, and find that contentment again. Or at least not let it end on rumination and sadness. I can find those feelings again, even if they are tinged with shades of darkness.
I seriously do not see how things coukd ever get better. Its one thing after the other. Now, instead of just dealing with god awful pain and mixed states all the time, i was told i likely have serotonin storm thanks to painkillers. So, not only do i have nothing to stop this pain, but now i need to taper off of my antidepressant, and yes is it causing withdrawal. I honestly can not take this much...
Hi!! 6 months ago I made the decision to get off anxiety medication. I felt ready, life was good! A few weeks after my last dosage, I developed diarrhea. Long story short and after a colonoscopy a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with lymphocytic colitis. Im taking medication which is helping but with the stress of going through this, working from home a year now (due to covid) and not being...