In the hospital one of my nurses printed out this big package for me about "distress tolerance."
Of course it made a lot of sense.
But in the moment,when my anxiety or despondency-my distress- are at close to a 10,well all those skills fly out the window.
Yesterday I self harmed in a way that I haven't done since my twenties.
I did not even attempt to use positive coping skills.
What was so wrong with me??
What was it about that moment??
I am intolerably ashamed of myself.
Right now my anxiety is about at an 8.5 and I feel so all alone.
What can I do?
Realize that eventually this feeling will pass??
In the moment it feels like it will never never end.
I found an ACOA meeting close to where I live on Sunday evenings.
Anyone ever go to an ACOA meeting as opposed to AL Anon?
My pyschiatrist/therapist suggested it to me over AL Anon because it is specifically for those who come from chaotic childhoods....
I want to try and go.
What I am doing now just isn't working.
M intellect is telling me part of this is "just" hormones and PTSD (I have severe PMS, it's like the kind you get meds for but the meds dont' work on me)And I've encountered some really hateful sh*t online lately.I'm not trying to be political, but I feel like I've spent my life trying to be a good citizen of the US and of the world, and the world is just gleefully saying "nothing about the US is...
I almost made it through without writing. But tomorrow is my dogs' surgery. I have had a very anxious filled day. And it's so weird with animals because they don't know what's coming. He's just playing with his toys. They really are so innocent. I woke up this morning with the worst anxiety I've had in awhile. Tomorrow should be even worse. Thanks for listening.