Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
HI all,
I have had an obsessive personality for as long as I can remember, which has it's advantages (career, etc.). For me, however, th negatives far outweigh the positives.
I find now that I'm in recovery and dealing with my PTSD, that obsessive behavior has escalated and it causes many problems for me. For instance, this past Monday I intended to just mow the lawn, but instead ended up trimming all the hedges, putting down some mulch, et cetera. I worked through lunch without eating. I worked from 10am until 4:30pm and made myself weak and depressed due to lack of food and the stress of it all.
I did the same thing again on Thursday. I was going to simply tidy-up the home office, and instead rearranged all of the furniture (two very heavy desks, two filing cabinets, a heavy TV), all of which should be moved by at least two people. I disconnected, relocated and then reconnected all of my computer stuff. I emptied all eight of the two desk's drawers and weeded through stuff that needed to go, to stay, etc. Bottom line is that what should have taken twenty minutes ended up taking the entire day (about 12pm till 5pm). Now don't get me wrong, the yard and office look great and you could eat off of either one, but it was not worth it. In both cases I skipped a meal, pushed myself too hard, and made myself miserable in both body and mind.
I don't know why I do this obsessive behavior, but it has been happening all of my life. It's like I get stuck in a tunnel where once I've set my sights on an ultimate goal, I have to finish it without stopping. It would have bothered me all night if the lawn or the office would have been left "un-done"...even just for one day. I would have felt like something wasn't resolved or that I was lazy, or I was I was a bad person. When I'm
"In the zone" like this, I don't even realize what I'm doing...hours seem to go by like minutes...no embellishment.
This is very unsettling and not good for me or my recovery, but I'm not sure how to stop it from happening.
I have had an obsessive personality for as long as I can remember, which has it's advantages (career, etc.). For me, however, th negatives far outweigh the positives.
I find now that I'm in recovery and dealing with my PTSD, that obsessive behavior has escalated and it causes many problems for me. For instance, this past Monday I intended to just mow the lawn, but instead ended up trimming all the hedges, putting down some mulch, et cetera. I worked through lunch without eating. I worked from 10am until 4:30pm and made myself weak and depressed due to lack of food and the stress of it all.
I did the same thing again on Thursday. I was going to simply tidy-up the home office, and instead rearranged all of the furniture (two very heavy desks, two filing cabinets, a heavy TV), all of which should be moved by at least two people. I disconnected, relocated and then reconnected all of my computer stuff. I emptied all eight of the two desk's drawers and weeded through stuff that needed to go, to stay, etc. Bottom line is that what should have taken twenty minutes ended up taking the entire day (about 12pm till 5pm). Now don't get me wrong, the yard and office look great and you could eat off of either one, but it was not worth it. In both cases I skipped a meal, pushed myself too hard, and made myself miserable in both body and mind.
I don't know why I do this obsessive behavior, but it has been happening all of my life. It's like I get stuck in a tunnel where once I've set my sights on an ultimate goal, I have to finish it without stopping. It would have bothered me all night if the lawn or the office would have been left "un-done"...even just for one day. I would have felt like something wasn't resolved or that I was lazy, or I was I was a bad person. When I'm
"In the zone" like this, I don't even realize what I'm doing...hours seem to go by like minutes...no embellishment.
This is very unsettling and not good for me or my recovery, but I'm not sure how to stop it from happening.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I used to wait for those surges of energy or moods to come along so I could get things done...and then afterwards I would crash....be it the next day, or next week.
It could be some of the mood variability that goes with PTSD. PTSD has a lot of characteristics of Bipolar...and they use drugs to treat those symptoms.
You might ask about a mood stabilizer...that would help settle the swings in moods.
Lamictal, Depakote are some mood stabilizers.
I just get too overwhelmed with all that's to do, that nothing gets down...everything seems like such an extravaganza to me now.
Check in with your Pdoc and let him/her know of how you are feeling...you can also try and track your mood. Whether you feel you are on an up swing....hypo-manic to manic or a down swing...depression...
Google mood charts or mood tracking and you should find some stuff to track your moods with...also your sleep too.
but i too am no doctor. i am bipolar but i have no place diagnosing others. maybe it just is a way you have of coping. of distracting yourself from the effects of ptsd, you know?