I have had SO many moments of thinking that this would be the rest of my life, *fearing* it would be the rest of my life.

Right now, I think my research did it. I started the Geodon with my propranolol (Inderal) and... I think it's cured me! Well, it's fixed the excess fight-or-flight. I *still* think it is important to finish confronting the triggers so that they lose their power completely. When that is done, I doubt I will need to take medicine daily ever again.

I think, now, I am back to being grateful for being so smart. I was resenting that it made me susceptible to being sick and made being sick so excruciating, but it is also the thing that made it possible for me to find a solution. I am also grateful for everyone here being so d@mn smart because they helped me find all the info and learn SO much that I could actually put it all together in one place and figure it out. How rocking is THAT?!!!! :)

By the way, what meds are you taking, Vanessa?

You have a really good chance that your PTSD won't be chronic if you deal with the trauma that occurred. It took me years to talk about my traumas. That was the hardest part, getting me to talk. Don't worry about something that might never happen. Life is hard enough to deal with. Take a deep breath and tell yourself you are getting a handle on things. I hope you get to feeling better soon. vickie

thanks everyone...it's good to know I'm not alone. Well, I was taking Paxil and occasionally xanax up until about 2 weeks ago. I decided to stop to see how I felt. But I think I need to start taking it again! I was scared I would be on them for life, but I know I need to take them to continue to push through things.

You are so lucky. Unfortunately you had an experience that dramatically changed your life. But let me say again, You are so lucky. You are very aware of your experience and your reactions to it. You got help in a relitively small amount of time. I say relitively because for many it is at least 5 - 10 years before they finally seek help. It is so frightening that some of us will even block the whole event from our minds, or dissociate the feelings from the thinking mind. Chronic or Complex PTSD is most evedent in those who have had multiple traumas, those of a younger developmental age than others, or those who's trauma has been so horrific that it is burried very, very deep. It doesn't sound like you will develop a Chronic form of PTSD, but then again, every person's experience is unique.

Now, as a nurse, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't tell you not to stop taking your meds without talking to your doc first. Some of these medications have side effects that are very dangerous if not tapered off dosages. I know that Welbutrin, which I take, can cause siezures if stopped ubruptly.

Hi!
When I had the trauma that triggered my heaviest challenges, I was being treated by one of the foremost PTSD specialists in the field. He is now my friend. Anyway, "chronic" was the term used in the same sense that alcoholism is chronic. It is treatable, and in that sense, curable, but because it affects the deepest part of the instinctual brain, it was laid out to me that it's fairly hard-wired in there.
I don't want to put anyone on a bummer, I'm certainly no doctor, and I'm the opposite of anyone who would allow himself to be defeated, but I think there's a part of PTSD that sticks with you. Once that part of the brain that thinks it is going to die or be seriously harmed is triggered, it's hard to re-wire. But the GOOD news is, that it's treatable. Just to show you what I mean, I'm going to take the word "chronic" out of my profile right now!
My best to you.
JMRH

My question, did the Paxil and Xanax help? Or did you feel like you were "pushing"?

My experience is that these are the wrong meds. My research is that Prozasin with Geodon or Propranolol with Serzone are the way to go. They should reduce the fight-or-flight chemicals.

I feel AMAZINGLY well now. I am on Propranolol (which I have found excellent at stop panic attacks) and, recently, I *finally* got into my doctor to try out Geodon. He wanted me to use Geodon instead of the Serzone, because I am med sensitive. (I take the lowest doses of everything!) He said Serzone is stronger.

I feel amazing but I can tell the norepinephrine is streaming. I have the same feeling in my brain I would get as when I took cold medicine with norepinephrine in it. Also, I am wired and am finding myself staying awake long and sleeping a LOT less than what is "norm" for my body.

When I see the doc this Thursday, I will be asking for a script for Prosazin to replace the Inderal (aka propranolol). I have NO clue what the dosage should be and I dunno if my doc will either, so I guess I need to go do some research on that. LoL! :)

Still, if I stay with what I have, I will be rocking and rolling from now on. :) So, think about your meds. I have been looking at my friends profiles who are in *serious crisis* and all I see are meds marked as "working" when they clearly are NOT working at all. So, please be self aware because YOU are the only one who can say if the meds are working for YOU.

It is your body. It is your life. It is your experience. You are the *only* one who knows what is really going on inside you. The specialists can only know what you share and the specialists are just as human as every other human. So, if you think they are wrong, say so and explore it. Advocate for yourself. I would be dead if I had not advocated for myself. Instead, I figured out my illness, my medication and (from what I can tell) my cure. Now it's just time to finish therapy so that I can remove the triggers and, in time, the meds. Here's to success for EVERYONE! :)

hmmm, I'm not sure if the paxil and xanax are the best out of all the choices, but but they do greatly help me calm down (I get panic attacks). They allow me to concentrate too. I'm just scared to switch because I tried zoloft once, and had an awful experience. It exacerbated all of my symptoms. I was one of the 2% or something like that of people who actually get worse from it, like on the warning label. I was completely reckless and violent and it was such a scary experience. I could have gotten myself or someone else seriously hurt. I'm embarassed to use the word "violent" because I'm normally a very gentle and easy going kind of person, and I hate short tempered people. I'm lucky to be alive right now.

An example of how the zoloft made me act was with driving.. I remember feeling like I couldn't care less if I crashed into anyone on the road or not. It was like, whatever, I had very low self control. It was very strange.

I think while you are in therapy and drudging through things, meds are REALLY helpful. I believe processing through the trauma is important, and then learning new coping mechanisms...and building yourself back up.

I agree with Meow, as I am also a Nurse...it's not good to abruptly stop your meds. If you choose to go off them, get with your Pdoc to develop a weaning regime.

If you need meds to keep you feeling better, then I say go for it. But, don't try to manage it on your own without meds if you feel like crap off of them.

And, don't give up, some Pdoc's don't know squat about PTSD and are not keeping up on the latest research that is pouring out right now thanks to the VA.

I've been through 3 since April, and have finally found the RIGHT one.

Definitely, you can gain a lot of info from the info that we post on here. Brillante and I have posted a lot of helpful, informative info on PTSD meds. Dissected their pharmacology, and how they act in the brain, and physiologically.

It's a journey to heal, and the more you learn to deal with PTSD, the less your down times will be as you journey along. Finding the right meds can make a big difference.

Be alert for me to post info on a 'Brain Diet'...my new Pdoc is going to be giving me info on that soon.

Don't rush healing, rushing it can make it worse. Take it slow, and if you get too symptomatic, you need to slow it down some more.

thanks...that helps. I know I need to slow down. I am trying to do everything all at once and it's too much.

Lol! Yeah, Daisy and I have lectured each other on slowing down. It's good to have the reminder. :)

As far as the Zoloft, that was a pretty normal reaction for someone with PTSD. Zoloft raises fight-or-flight chemicals in the brain. So being reckless and violent makes complete sense. The thing is, PTS does NOT work the same as Depression and Anxiety. The worst part? Nearly all the medication prescribed for those two illnesses does exacerbate post traumatic stress symptoms.

it was after I went through 7 (more?) different meds, was crazed on all of them and was inches away from being seriously dead by my own hand that I put my foot down. I stopped those meds, saw the 60 Minutes report on propranolol and then started following all the latest research at the National Institute of Mental Health. Eventually my research and other people's and - YAY! - the old me is back. :)