I listed this posting mainly because I think feeling other people's pain has gotten me feeling really down. Crazy thoughts of self-harm going through my head when I thought all those feelings were gone. I am feeling triggered by people. Also hurt by some. I had a guy call me "gross looking" yesterday and my community support worker makes comments about how many groceries I buy. "She's like, well I could buy half of what you buy and be fine for the month". So that just all makes me feel down on myself. And I'm dealing with this chronic pain after surgery. I just am feeling a bit on the down side tonight. needing some love tonight. Needing my God's love tonight.
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Today, was so much better. I could feel my anxiety trying to take over but the first time I went for a walk and brought a security "object" with me. It did help. And then at lunch which is when I know I get the most anxiety, I could feel it just below the surface. So I asked my friends to tell funny stories and that helped. And then when I was by myself where my anxiety could reach me again, I...
Woke later today, but I am scared stiff yet again, going to see a friend of mine for an hour. It is an hour exactly, its like an appointment, I like seeing her though, my head hurts again this morning. But not as bad as before I'd rather stay in bed, today than get up!