i feel like i just can't do this anymore. nothing's working out right now and i'm incredibly discouraged. everything is just such a struggle. i've felt bad a million times in my life, for a million different reasons...but even when I tried to kill myself I felt better than I do now. i have honestly never felt this awful, which is saying a lot coming from me. i don't think i can fight this anymore. i'm not going to kill myself or anything, but only because i don't think it'll work and i think i'll just end up in a hospital, and i hate mental hospitals. but it's sad as hell to know that's the only thing keeping me here.
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