I JUST RECIEVED ADVICE FROM PHLOXINSOX, WHICH I THOUGHT MADE SENSE. I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE TACKY WHEN THE NEXT COMMENT WAS "DID HE REALLY GIVE YOU COOTIES?''. ANYWAY, WHEN I SPEAK OF GALIGHTING, THERE ARE MANY THINGS THESE PEOPLE AT THE HOUSE DO. HERE I AM, THIS GUY I WAS TALKING ABOUT KNOWS, I HAVE HAD HEART ATTACKS, WAS ABUSED TERRIBLY, BUT HAS THE CAPACITY TO DRIVE ME CRAZY AND CAUSE ME STRESS. THE GUY WHO I WAS FRIENDS WITH, WHO CALLED THE HOSPITAL AND SAID HE WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO BURN DOWN LETS CALL THE TROUBLEMAKER,GEORGE, GEORGE'S GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE IF HE WENT OVER THERE AND TWO POLICEMEN AND A SOCIAL WORKER CAME OVER. I DID NOT SAY THAT AND I WOULD NEVER BURN DOWN A HOUSE. I HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS BECAUSE I TOLD THIS GUY HIM AND I CANNOT BE FRIENDS IF HE'S GEORGE'S FRIEND. THIS CAME ABOUT BECAUSE I TOLD THE GUY GEORGE WAS GASLIGHTLING ME. THE GUY AGREED. GEORGE WENT LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL AND GOT HOLD OF THIS GUY AND NOW THEIR FRIENDS. HE IS WORKING ON ANOTHER WOMAN FRIEND I KNOW, THROUGH HIS OTHER FRIEND, TO BE GEORGES FRIEND TOO. I CAN'T SIT ON MY PORCH WITHOUT ONE OF THESE NUTS GOING BY. THESE FORMER FRIENDS ARE NOT TO TALK TO ME. I KNOW HOW IT IS. I CAN'T HAVE FRIENDS. IF I GO TO A CHURCH, ONE OF THEM WILL BE THERE. LIKE I AM BEING WATCHED. I AM. I HAVE BECOME A BIG PROBLEM WHEN I TALK TO NONE OF THEM. GEORGE ALSO TOLD ANOTHER OF MY EX-FRIENDS HE WANTED ME DEAD. THIS HAUNTS ME. I REMEMBER GEORGE BEING IN THE GAY GUY'S BAR 30 YEARS AGO, AND BELIEVE ME IT WAS HIM. YES HES MOSTLY GAY THAT'S FOR SURE. I AM GRIEVING ALL THE TIME AND SICK. I AM AFRAID THIS GEORGE WILL GET WHAT HE WANTS. I ASKED HIM IF ANYONE WOULD CARE IF I WAS DEAD. HE SAID NO. NO, I NEVER DID CRACK, COKE, OR HEROIN, AND SAW HIM SNORTING SOMETHING, AND GO THROUGH SWEATS AND CHILLS, MANY A TIME. THIS LAVENDER MAFIA IS IN THE NEIGHBORING TOWN, WITH A GAY MAYOR. THIS TOWN HAS A GAY MAYOR TOO. I FEEL SICK. THIS BIRD HAS TOO MANY FRIENDS AND TOO MUCH MONEY AND I 'KNOW TOO MUCH.' HE HAS SAID THINGS I REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE DRINKING. I REMEMBER THEM ALL. THIS SCARES HIM. AND ALL THIS BECAUSE I WANTED SOME TO LOVE ME, TO HOLD ME. WHAT DID I DO? IT'D LIKE THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD AND I AM IT. HE IS PROBABLY READING THIS VIA THE LIBRARY OR HIS BOYFRIENDS CONSTANT KEEP AN EYE ON ME-WHY AN I SINGLED OUT? THANK YOU FOR ANY ADVICE YOU CAN GIVE ME.
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