Meow, I think you are stepping in the right direction by journaling and talking about some of your anger. I hope that Dave will be able to understand that when you start to vent, especially with the new stress of his job situation, that it is not all directed at him or about him. Seems like you have probably worked out some anger, don't get to be a third degree black belt with out motivation. ;) I don't know much about martial arts, but seems you learn to focus engergy in that art. Keep focusing your anger in that therapy if it helps. Maybe draw out what you are feeling? Art is to me a more child like way of working out anger. Or,do you have a punching bag at home? YES, anger is a God given emotion. My mother too was an MK,my father was a PK, and anger was seen in our household as a sign of an uncontroled emotion. Somewhere in the New testament it says,(sorry too lazy to look it up. Almost sure it is in James) be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. I think forty plus years is fairly slow to anger. That is not proper hermeneutic, but still anger is ok to feel. From reading your post, you have alot to be angry about.
Maybe try some new types of therapy. Take your camera and take some pictures of what makes your heart sing if you want to refocus...haha Or try to take a picture of what anger looks like for you. Don't surpress or deny your anger though. That is NOT what good missionaries do, deny, surpress, minimize. I know those defenses are a part of the culture, and that is what can make inner battle so tough. Good luck.

-In PTSD, as in many things, we grieve a loss of sorts. We lose our security, our sense of the world, and our sense of justice. This process is unfamiliar to many of us, especially anger.
-Anger is an emotion many of us are taught to supress. In many trauma cases, we are taught by our tormentors that we are not supposed to be angry. That if we are angry it should be with ourselves for 'doing this' to them (note the reality reversal).
-When we learn that what has happened is not our fault and begin a rebirth, many of us relive the grieving process because it was not processed correctly the first time.
Stages of grief:
-Denial (this isn't happening)
-Anger (why is this happening)
-Bargaining (if this stops, I will ..)
-Depression (I couldn't care less)
-Acceptance (I'm ready for a new life)
-DS
"The facts expressed here belong to everyone, the opinions are mine. Feel free to decide which is which."

I have been shamed a lot for being angry. I've even had therapists try to stifle my anger. I'm a spiritual person and have found lots of people who are on a spiritual path (particular New Agers and Christians) have a tendency to see anger as wrong. Also women are given a harder time about being angry than men are.

This has been a big struggle for me. I had to reclaim my anger to heal. But I've really been punished for it. Laura Davis says in "The Courage to Heal" that anger is the backbone of healing.

There's nothing noble, spiritual, or healthy about denying any of our emotions. The key is finding a healthy outlet for all these strong feelings.

I'm a big believer in justice as well. Working for causes I believe in and speaking out are what work for me.

My family was not an angry or vebal either. My father and mother are both very spiritual. When I got older I struggled with how to handle basic emotions. I still don't really know how to do it. If you find this out let me know. I could use it. I also struggle with confrontations. Well anyways, I wish you luck.

As I was growing up our family name should have been "Cleaver". According to my mom it was always how we appeared to others that seemed important and anger wasn't something we outwardly showed much of.
After the accident I was in I had considerable anger inside and I didn't know how to get it out. At one time I turned to drugs and alcohol to help deal with my anger.
Six years later my councelor tells me getting rid of the anger is a healing process. Now I get rid of some of it by writing, I have screamed, I have cried and have done physical activities such as running to help. I still have problems getting angry face to face with people however.
I hope this helped.

I'm not sure about the idea of "getting rid of anger." I don't want to be consumed by it. I was at one time. But all our emotions are valuable. Anger mobilizes me, warns me when someone has crossed the line and fuels my work for justice.

My goal isn't to get rid of anger but to channel it in healthy directions. That's a tough one.

I like what Dancer said about channeling it in a healthy way.

There is a lot of power in anger. Going back to something else I just posted, Josh Walsh turned his anger into a way to catch criminals and created a movement to reduce the kinds of tragedies that happened to his son Adam. Without his anger, he would never have created something good.

Even Ghandi was angry. He just found a healthy way to express it to create change.

Speaking of that, I suppose anger is often an expression of a desire to create change. When I think of creating change from this experience, of finding a way to create something beautiful, my soul lights up. Now I just need to resolve the fear and my paranoia of conflict so I can make those thoughts reality! ;)

I find Yoga really brings me into balance. I like the tape by Gary Bromley. When done, it feels like I've had a full body massage.

When I journal, I find it brings out my creative thoughts. I start process beyond my feelings to much greater understanding. The actual illness doesn't subside, but I find peace in understanding and being able to back an remind myself does rebalance me.

As far as expressing anger, release is SO important. Release into a project, something really physical: cleaning (scrubbing and scouring), exercise, remodeling (pulling up tile, replacing door jambs, tearing out cabinets), art that requires real physical aggression... And when I was well, I taught my emotionally disabled students that hitting pillows and all that is a fine idea, but sometimes you >really< need the satisfaction of destruction. So, the question becomes ?what? can I destroy "constructively"? I like a glass jar from the recycle bin. I smash it on the concrete rather satisfactorily and then I sweep it up. Hey, it got recycled for a GREAT use! ;-) With my students, we filled water balloons and smashed them on the buildings. Then we picked up the pieces. Ultimately it left to laughter and laughter is an EXCELLENT release of all that energy.

Ultimately, anger is energy - strong, powerful energy - which needs a strong, powerful release. So, find a beautiful way to release and create something constructive OR constructively destructive. Hey, I've shredded journal pages by writing with the mechanical pencil and letting it catch and tear the page. I didn't really care about the writing, just the release. Today, I called my friend and said I need 5 minutes to "vent in a rant" and so we timed it and BOY did I release all over the place. It felt good to let it just spew all nasty and it felt better to know it was contained.

I think that's the thing. We're all sensitive and kind and thoughtful and generous and so far from selfish... So it becomes about letting the darkness we've been given by others out in a way that does >not< pass it on. But that's the thing, living with it inside us is killing us in the most painful and self aware way. So, darkness, anger... it does need to come out. Turn it into beautiful production or constructive release.

Suppressing it and keep it inside is NOT an option.

Depression is inverted anger.I care alot but still suffer depression.

There is healthy anger and there is unhealthy anger,so yeah anger is a necessary emotion.If it get's out of control is when you have to worry.

At barnes and nobles they have an anger workbook,I havent had the money to buy it yet but I hear its good.