I have severe abandonment issues. My therapist went on vacation for a week and it ended up being close to 2 weeks before I was able to see her again. I had a melt down : panic attacks, flash backs, dissociating. She called tonight to confirm our appointment this week and I was really anxious. I was afraid maybe I was burdening her and that she was going to grow tired of me and need to distance herself from me. I don't know what I would do. I shut down and got quiet. I was afraid to tell her how I was feeling because I didn't want to stir anything. She was calling me on her own time! I am so terrified that people will leave me. I used to not let people get close to me that way I wouldn't be hurt when they chose to leave or were taken away from me. Now I feel so dependent on the few people I have let into my terrifying world, but I'm scared to death they will leave. I don't know how to calm this fear and relax so as not to scare people away. Do any of you have pointers, ideas, or helpful suggestions?
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