I changed names but this is what happened.
So today they had a dinner in the main hall in my building. At my table was a woman named Terry that I had started to getting to know. She can be a bit abrasive but I wrote it off. She seemed nice enough. A young gentleman named Phil was sitting at the table too. Another friend in the building Jess was there as well.
Phil said that he is finishing up his final year in college after taking a break. So everybody jumped in telling him what he should do after he graduates. Jess automatically said he can get married and have kids. Terry and I disagreed. Terry was a little rude in how she disagreed. She said "No, no, no" and waved her hand in front of Jess as if to create a barrier so that he couldn't hear what she was saying. I tried to make it lighthearted and said, "After you graduate, take a trip to Fij then adopt a dog."
Terry disagreed again and said "No, no, no" and waved her hand in front of me like she did to Jess. She said his priority is to get a job. I said of course that's the priority but we're talking about beyond that. Then I said "just do what you want." Because it's his life and his choice.
Then Terry asked me "Are you a millennial? I said "I'm an older millennial." She turned to Phil and said "Don't listen to her or other older millennials." I was getting pretty irritated at this point. That's the kind of the crap my parents would say because they're boomers. It's not like I said "Don't listen to her. She's a boomer."
So I turned to pPhil, looked him in the eye, and said very seriously, "I spent my life trying to do what other people wanted me to do. And it was never enough. It was never going to be enough. Do it for you and no one else." Instead of simply backing up my statement or just letting ago, she made it sound like that's what she was saying the whole time and she had a tone of she was right and of course everyone else was wrong.
I sat there for a moment and realize something. Years ago when I had no self-esteem whatsoever, I'd sit there silently and act like nothing was wrong. I would have just sat there and felt belittled and remained quiet. A moment later, I decided to get up, throw out my plate, and leave the room. As I was leaving the room I said goodbye and pass them. Terry said, "I'm didnt mean to scare you away." I didn't respond and just left.
She didn't scare me away. She was rude and dismissive. It was entirely disrespectful. What really sucks about this is she invited me to join her and her friends for Thanksgiving. Guess I'm making other plans.
When I see her again and she brings it up, I'm just going to tell her exactly what I told you all. It was rude and dismissive and completely unnecessary to highlight the fact that I was an older millennial as a reason to not listen to me. And waving her hand in front of my face was completely inappropriate as it was when she did it with Jess.
I'm proud of my growth. I earned it.
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