I have already been dealing with the memories of my rape that happened a year ago (if you read my journal you will see). I have been trying to distract myself that I would have a child right now if I did not have the abortion which was necessary medically and mentally. And now tonight he called. I havn't heard from him since this summer and now out of the blue he called. I hung up on him once I realized who he was and called my therapist. I am trying to stay in the here and now, and realize that happened a year ago, but all I want to do is curl up with xanax or sleeping pills and forget about it. How do you forget something when the assulter won't leave you alone?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??