Adding on to my story from "I need Help". I wanted to ask a question, when I was in the Army and started having nightmares and flashbacks they made me see a psychiatrist, this was the most awful experiences, the army psych said this "its your fault, you are the one who decides to stay on the fire department, why dont you quit". But I love the fire department but just have lost interest in it for the moment. And what she said just sticks in my mind. My friends and family have given up on me...Can my severe chronic abdominal pain and nausea and vomiting and high heart rate be caused by PTSD? Also should I talk to my chief about this and take a medical leave of absence. Im afraid he is going to look at me different and blame it on me like everyone else. My family and friends cant take the physical and mental problems I am having right now. And that makes me more tempted to end it. I did have an attempt the other night. Im tired of the pain and suffereing with the flashbacks and nightmares and the physical problems that I have to deal with 24/7. I just cant do it anymore, Im being eatin away by this.
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