Thoughts have been coming back to me this week about getting sick. I know the general timeline of events, but sometimes little details pop up that remind me just how bad or uncertain things were. When I got really sick, really fast, I was sort of in shock. I was also in denial about how sick I was and how scary it was for about a year. Now new details surface and they scare me. I have a viceral reaction to them.
One day I was very sick, and my teacher decided he would drive me to the capital city to see the best quality doctors. The clinic was 250 miles away, or 411 kilometers. We drove for 8 hours, stopping only for lunch. We got into the capital after dark and went straight to the emergency clinic. Who drives 250 miles just to see a doctor? How bad does the situation have to be for your teacher to decide to do that with only 2 hours notice? He literally packed his car, packed my bags and we left, just like that. That one car ride is the reason I have issues with car trips.
Another thought that's on my mind. If you agree to let someone get close to you or hold you, because you have no other reasonable chioce, is it really consentual? Nobody hurt me, and I am very thankful for that. No one took advantage of my vulnerability, and I am thankful. But they held me and carried me, and those memories scare me. I wonder if it is because they broke my personal bubble and I didn't have a choice in the matter unless I wanted to be alone. Being abandoned or left behind would have been worse than being touched, but I still didn't like it.
The truth comes out, one detail at a time, and the truth hurts.
Hi y'all I've been doing fairly well today with my anxiety .. but I was wondering if anyone still notices physical syptoms that still creep up even when not too anxious.. like I always have tinges of pain in my chest.. arms..neck ..etc.. or burning in my chest off and on .. Does anyone else experience this as well?
When I am a passenger in the front seat I get claustrophobic. My face gets Hot and I panic as if I can't breathe. I roll down the window for air. And put the fan in my face. What can I take from a homeopathic substance to help me. If I drive I am fine