238 days since I've stepped a foot out of my home. The thought of even doing so brings unimaginable terror that grows stronger with each passing day. It's been 8 years since my husband has trimmed bushes and hedges. There is no longer a window in my home which I can see out of. As the sight of the overgrowth increases my anger with him I keep the blinds pulled. Visitors stopped coming long ago. The internet has made it easy. You can literally have anything delivered. Not that I need much. The pandemic has brought my primary care to me in my home online. I don't even know what the weather is doing anymore. Time stands still. I've stopped watching or reading news as it only brought disgust and fear. It seems like my world shrinks a room at a time. Every time I awake from sleep brings disappointment that I'm still here. I no longer want to be. Please let me just fade away. A life full of nightmares, flashbacks, panic, anxiety, a seemingly never ending movie of the horrors of my first 21 years is not a life worth living. i need for it to end.
HiI jsut wanted to say HAPPY SUNDAY and I hope everyone is doing well. Thinking about you. Whatever is going on. Wherever you are.Happy or sad Please remember thatYou aren't aloneWe are here Fighting back!!!Living!!!Propeling onward with youYes, you!!!
So just because the day keeps getting worse, I just found a red nodule cyst like thing on my 4 year old dogs paw. My dogs are obviously my saving grace.So now I have to just not breathe until I can get him to the vet.Make it stop, what have I done, really. It is one thing after another