The people I work with understand that I have PCOS and they are very good about it.... But today one of the girls had to show off her new neice and she is just beautiful and the whole time I'm looking at the picture I'm telling myself to breathe it's going to be ok..... Why is it SO hard to deal with this!!! Of course I say "oh how cute...I want one" and she and another co-worker say oh just wait!!!! We will be throwing the biggest baby shower every for you when you get pregnant!!! That was very nice of them, but as I sit here at my desk running it over and over in my mind I"m trying very hard not to have a break down. The WHAT IF'S and the IT'S ALL MY FAULT keep running through my mind and I start to cry and I want it NOW not tomorrow or a week from now or a month from now. I WANT IT TO HAPPEN NOW!!!!! I hate feeling like this because I then begin to think I'm not strong enough to do this or deal with this!!!!! Wow wee I don't like the baby blues...................sorry had to vent before I had a complete mental breakdown!!!!
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