I am 44 y.old. 160cm, slim and very athletic body...look great when I am dressed.
I am almost flatchested, meaning I have something like 1/4 of full A cup. The smallest bra is always big on me.
All my life I felt very uncomfartable with this part od my body, frustrated every time when I look at myself in the mirrow.
I am married. My marriage is a nightmare from its first day. My husband has a type of personality very similar to border line personality desorder. He is very emotionally abusive, not physically though. He does not love, respect or appreciate me in any way. Why am I still not devorced? I just never had this finnancial oportunity to survive without him with 2 kidds. I am an immigrant, my status was depending on the marriage, then it took me years to build myself(learning English, getting job experience, getting the education). I did it all. However, our youngest child was diagnosed with Autism. And, for that reason I was temporarelly eliminting even a thought of devorce. Now, my husband moved to a basement. We barelly talk, and fight a lot. Devorce is a common topic we descuss, however non of us filled the actual pappers yet. So, I got this part of my story covered. I have a husband, and I do not at the same time. I do think about devorce a lot, and hope it is going to be an opportunity in the future.
I dreamed about breast enlargement surgery for a long time. And, recently started to push myself and went for consultation...which went perfect.
Now, I have to make a decision which is not that easy.
On the one hand, if I have no man what for to have a sergery..I can comufluge the size by wearing an enlarged bras. I have 2 kidds, and the sergery is always a risk.
On the other hand, I believe that this change in my body look can give me different perseption of myself and the life all togetehr. I'd like to emphisize that even though I am pretty selfconfident and strong person with high self esteem, I still think breasts small like mine are great turn off for man, despite I am overall pretty women. Talking about man!!! I do like good looking and sexy looking man. Yes, I think that big breats attracts man's attention and will encrease my chances to find a friend. If I have a friend at least, I might push for devorce. I can not give up an idea that I won't be loved and love myself again. I know that bigger breast guarantees nothing especially when women is selective, but in my opinion big breast encreases chances of finding and impressing the right person.
Sex! I do not remember when I had sex with my husband last time. And, even in the bad he is not my guy. I am very thaithfull though as to this point. But, I am not a cold fish if you understand.And, I feel I owe nothing to the man who ruined my life and health.
There are people that believe that truth love is based on spiritual connection..and the size does not matter. Wrong to me!Man can only love a women who is sexually attracted to him..and size of the breast matters.Other factors just compliment and substitute.
In sum, I hate my small breasts.I know I will look perfect with bigger size. I believe that if I find a right person in the future, I ll feell very confident and want to be prepared for it. I want to have a sergery before devorce, becuze if I'll be a single mother I for sure will not have funds and a chance for a sergery. My husband does not mind what I do. I work and can cover the precedure. I am not too old. If I wait, it is going to be too late. My husband tells me a lot that I am agly.I do not believe him. But, it hurts a lot. I am all in stress, and it is hard to concentrate on kidds..I am very demending to myself. May be if I feel better with bigger breasts, life in general will be easy to handl as I'll be in a better mood.
My doughts: wellknown risks..it is still a sergery. Complication after sergery. Costs, it is 6500$..we are way not rich people. My child is Autistic, what if something happens to me. Sexy look does not guarantees a success with man in the future.
Sorry for taking your time for such a long story...
I'll appreciate your inputs.
Thank you in advance.
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