Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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You Know How It's Not Real Until...?

deleted_user
deleted_user
So I finally broke down and went to an attorney with a friend. The attorney told me I needed to get domestic violence counseling!!!! I've never been hit, but she said the cycle is the same and it's escalating. I've been able to rationalize, excuse, explain, and blame myself for his every behavior. But sitting in that lawyer's office having this level-headed professional lady telling me that my emotional abuse is on the verge of domestic violence just from the three or four situations I told her about made the reality of my situation come crashing down. Wow. A perfect stranger told me what my friends have been telling me for years. Why does it make such a huge impact coming from someone I don't know?

I'm curious. What was the 'crashing point' in your relationship - when the reality of what was happening to you made it all 'real'? You know, it's like in Jerry Macguire - something wasn't real until he told her about it?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can totally relate to that. I think the worst of it for me was when I talked to the pastor of the church I go to. He told me that with everything I'd been through it was a wonder I was not a basket case, to use his words. Like your situation, I had never been physically abused and I did not tell him anywhere near everything. I cried harder then than I have when talking to anyone else.
deleted_user
deleted_user
when I had a message from someone from womens aid on this site.
deleted_user
deleted_user
When my ex told me I was "weak" for not walking away from him. I heard that loud and clear, because it couldn't have been farther from the truth.

Also, after I filed a restraining order, a cop told me "I don't know you, but I do know if you were in my life, you would be treated like a queen."

That woke me up.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was with my abuser for about 2 years and about 3 months into our realationship things started going down hill. He first started off with emotional abuse locking me out of the house, calling me names etc..., then after a few months of that was the first time he hit me. He cried and told me he didn't know what was wrong with him and it would never happen again. So I stayed after that it happend again and again till it was every day or every other day. When I was 7 months pregnant with my son he decided to leave me for a 15 year old girl. I was so hurt and insulted that I had stayed with him though all the bull shit and he decided to leave me! We got into a big fight and I told him that I would call the police and report him for statutory rape. and next thing you know I had a gun to my head and I closed my eyes thinking omg this is it all the times he threatend to kill me he is actually going to do it and then I hear Click. The 6 round revolver had 2 chambers empty. He opened the gun and showed me the bullets in there and said see how easy I could kill you and no one would know. The next load of stuff he took out to the car I locked the door and called the police. That was my breaking point. Knowing that he could have killed me and my unborn child in front on my daughter. Uhhh thinking about that day still gives me chills!!
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