I just found this site yesterday. About 5 places pertain to me! All I can say is I know exactly what you mean about leaving before you "left" him. I was told it is part of PTSD and self preservation.I have had years now of counseling and just when I think I might be o.k. something new crops up.

Stay your course...focus on you..the physical exercise is wonderful.Being able to reconnect will take many years..there is no single answer and different circumstances will trigger new feelings. How much time has elasped? Are there children involved? So many things that will have an affect on your emotional healing. The best advice is to try very hard to listen to your inner self. Our bodys develop other senses when one of them has been assaulted. Listen to your senses.Go slowly in all areas, not just romantic, but things like old friends, new job opportunities, etc. Realize that you are affected in many areas of your life from this circumstance. Good luck and keep up the work on the secret! I am trying to finish the book myself!

It has been over 2 years. No children. But I feel happy and in good spirits. I do not have many triggers left. And the Universal Laws have really changed my life.

I was just asking how other people handled their PTSD. I want to learn and grow.

wow, I feel the same way about not being able to reconnect with my feelings. So everyone who goes through abuse gets PTSD? I wonder if that is what I have.

I agree, I went numb and it was hard to get back to feeling again. Once I did it was hard work because I just got flooded with everything I hadn't dealt with. Thought I was going to have a breakdown because I had so much emotion. Counseling has helped me so much!!!!

Yes my feeling also flooded back and I am still struggling for a balance.

wounded and broke...it did break me into many tiny little black and blue pieces. to many to sweep under the carpet anymore. to tiny to vacumn to many to freakin care anymore. i on the other hand was still and still am very much in love with my ex partner. i won't ever return to him. i would rather starve to death than to give him the satisfaction of going back. the ptsd is real, i still wake up startled and shaking with sudden noises, i have nightmares and i cry for no reason. i did leave him mentally, i made my plan and put it into place in my mind and never uttered a word about leaving. i got tired of treatening him. i just mentally left him and everntually, i physically left him too. today i find that i am hypersensitive towards everyone and anything. i have to watch what i say, but the most telling is the signals i give to others around me without speaking. just my body language is enough to off set my day or their day.

I have been reading up on the PTSD and i feel it is helped me so much to understand what its all about. I to am having a difficult time reconnecting with my feelings. I have had them shut off for 14yrs I want to love and be loved but when it comes right down to it i run. I am not ready for all the drama in my life with a relationship right now until I find out who I am and where I want to go in life. Exercise has helped but I know if I want to get better I must go to therapy. I was both physically and mentally abused by two different husbands. So my thought is are they all the same?

I have a Question for you Uwin.

Is emotional withdrawl from a realitonship before the realitionship is actually over Couldn't that be a form of emotional abuse?

The reason I ask this is my wife did the same to me. What made it so bad was I was bed ridden and depended on her for alot ALOT of thing emotional and physcial. When she cut me out emotionaly I saw it and felt it. It hurt and it hurt bad..... I did react to it and I'm sure as she became more and more distant to me and my feelings that she felt justified in doing what she did.... But she was wrong... she should have just simply said I can't handle this anymore and ended the realitionship. Instead I was treated like I didn't deserve to sit in the same room with her and even worse when coming out of a counsleing session she told me " if I leave you now I can still have healthy childern with someone else"... I still hurt because of that comment which was made over two years ago.


What I read a lot on these fourms is something along the lines in which you have written. Someone emotionally withdraws from the realitionship the problems really get bad then people position themselfs then the divorce and the bitterness begins.

I guess I'm just wondering if people actually understand how devestating it is to a realitionship?

Hey Fonzie--

Thanks for bringing that up. I really do not know the answer to your question in terms of your relationship. I do think in your relationship there was definitely a communication break down.

But not all emotional withdrawal is the same. In my case, I emotionally withdrew because I wa getting beaten up everyday and it was a self-preservation defense mechanism. It was a RESULT of abuse, not the cause, in my case. It is a classic symptom of PTSD when physical abuse occurs.