well uh , what kind of stuff does he tell u to do?

I suggest you tell him that you are an adult and that you know how to do what you are doing. Or - you know how to do what you are about to do. He's not your father - he is your equal and being your equal means that he does what he does and you get to do what you do - without criticism (sp?). or you can ask him why he thinks it is necessary to tell you what to do. Maybe he doesn't realize it bothers you. Maybe if you tell him how it makes you feel - he will stop.

My on & off boyfriend tries to tell me what to do as in where to park, I remember when he got mad because I parked a few spaces down from where he said! I told him I don't like to take orders and it did not go well, basically he uses his anger to control and manipulate. It's like he forgets I'm a seperate person. I need strength to stay on my way out of this relationship. I liked to be asked nicely not ordered or told what to do and then I need to feel safe to say no (not the case here). Why? It's a form of power and control and is characteristic of an abusive relationship.

wow there is someone that goes through the same thing i do. i have no magic words of advice but stay strong and we are here for you hun.

the reason he tells you what to do has nothing at all to do with love, it's about power and control. Have you researched trauma bond, or stockholme syndrome? They are both worth taking a look at. I can appreciate what you are going through, I left my abusive husband of 8 yrs. I still love him, but I am also a human being who is intellegent and has a mind of her own, that she can use! The other thing you may want to do is do some deep searching into your own childhood. Why do you choose abusive men? The power he takes from you creates an imbalance of homestasis in the relationship, you give and give to keep that balance. Reading about abusive relationships can help a tremendous amount. Have you contacted a domestic violence agency in your area? Keep your chin up girl, you are a WONDERFUL person!

I am goin through that right now i believe that if someone wants you to do something they should ask you not demand it or for example my bf wants the house spotless i told him i will do it cuz i love you but if you make me feel like i have to do it then i'm not goin to just like the others said i agree you ae not his child you are an adult and he should treat you as such demand it