I'm an intelligent person, everyone says so. Even though my mind tells me all the right things and gives me the right diagnoses and and I read all the right books, and I was smart enough to get OUT of a very damaging, emotionally abusive relationship, and I'm even smart enough to be seeing a therapist, I feel very very stupid. And hopeless and like I have nothing worthwhile to give to anyone. Why? Because I've apparently internalized the treatment I was given by this very damaging person and believe if all I had to give was thrown away so ruthlessly and carelessly, then it must not have been much at all. And if I'm so great and so nice and supportive and giving and kind, which I've always thought I was, then how is it possible someone can be so mean to me when all I ever wanted to do was help? Again, my mind gives me all the rationalizations in the world. So does my therapist. So do the very few friends I have. It isn't enough and it isn't working. And I'm just devastated about that. Does someone have some idea how I can believe in who I am again?
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