I gave so much, I did everything I could think of to help him when he needed it. I spent $8,000 of my retirement to purchase a truck for him because he took the position he was unable to buy himself a vehicle. I knew it was his responsibility, not mine, but I wanted to see if it would make a difference. It didn't. He has told the police that I hit him, and I believe he will press charged. My baby is due in January. I believe he told his ex that I followed her (when he was upset at me), which is not true, and now she's trying to get a restraining order against me for signing her up for magazine subscriptions and possibly being involved in the slashing of her four tires. Did he tell her that too, or is she a liar like he is? I've done nothing to her. I always thought that she was insanely jealous because I developed a good relationship with their children. But now I wonder, maybe he told her all those lies and made her think that I really did those things... Whenever he became upset at he me, he'd call his mother and tell her that I was acting out, out of control, dangerous to the children, not providing him with a vehicle to get to work... He told her that I left him stranded at a park 20 miles from home. That isn't true. He didn't sit with me at the picnic table; he walked out of the park. I didn't know where he was, I didn't see him anywhere. I looked for him by car, and couldn't find him. I asked the police to look for him, because he was far from home and without his cell phone. I finally went home wondering if he used a pay phone to get a ride from someone else. He wasn't there. He finally called me, and I drove all the way back to get him. Why does he get upset like this, and then "frame" me? Why did he make me the enemy? We could have been happy. I held onto the vision of how things could be. I wanted to love him. I tried to love him. He hurt me. He hurt me. He hurt me. I kicked him out, and he's gone back to his ex. I know it was unhealthy and abusive, and it always would be. It couldn't be any different. Still the thoughts of how it could be float through my mind, begging me to believe another lie. It is like heroin, I suppose. I need to find a good man to love. That's all there is to it.
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