I had been with my vabf for the past five years. He was so passionate in the beginning and made me feel so special. I ignored all the red flags because I didn't know that is what they were. I put up with him being close to other women, (he said they were just friends)he never seemed to want to tell anyone (women) that he and I were together. We stopped having sex for the last two years. He could still be sweet to me and would give me crumbs of affection. We were buying a house together. I helped him find it and pick out all the colors for it, carpet, tile, etc. We haven't been living together for 16 months. Although we have talked on and off this whole time. The last time we talked was almost two weeks ago. He has moved into his new house and I wonder if someone has moved in with him. Even after all I have went through.... withholding, gaslighting, crazymaking, etc. I still miss him terribly at times. I think I am addicted to this person. I have been rejected by him so much in the past. When we lived together it was every other day. I finally had to leave him for my own sanity. Sometimes I feel I am in dispair, like today and I don't know how to get past it. I have called about therapy and the woman told me it would be 140.00 the first visit and 100.00 after that. I can't afford it! I feel so weak for wanting someone who doesn't want me. Help!
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