I thought I was free from him, last night he told me it made him "sick" to even think of forgiving me (im not the one that called the names or was mean) and even sicker at the thought of laying down with me. I was in tears to say the least. today he calls me and starts making demands about me going to see him 100 miles away, saying i have till the end of today or else its over, well, i want it over, I think last night i realized that i cry a hell of a lot less when i dont talk to him. I missed him so much (sick i know) this morning, but i wasnt crying, today he calls me at work, and once again in tears! I hear all of his mean words echo in my head, it makes me so upset, i have never had someone hate me before and it actually bothers me that him, of all people is the one that hates me. I want him to be gone so bad, but yet i know how much it will hurt to think of him with someone else. why in the hell do i care. Hes 100 miles away, and never makes the effort to come see me and makes me feel like crap for not being there for him. I hate this!! He has cut me down so bad over the last year that seeing him puts me into a panic attack, he dogs my clothes, my hair my make up, all of it. I used to feel free like a bird and I feel like he has clipped my wings, and broken my legs. He calls me vain because i take care of myself, but when he sees me he says i look old, or whatever. I swear I feel like im going crazy and I know this is not my issue its his.
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