I have been with the father of my son for 8 and a half years. We have been married for almost 7 years. He is from Guatemala. I love him still but I really don't know what to do. He seems to be changing since being in Guatemala but at the same time he will have outbursts over the phone. When I went to Guatemala he did not hit me at all. I really want to give him another chance for my son but I don't know whether I am ready to possibly have to give up all the friends I now have in my life. My husband is a very insecure person and I am the first real relationship he has ever had. I don't think he knows how to deal with relationships properly. When he was here he drank a lot on weekends mostly but that was not the only time that he would blow up at me. I always have gone back and forth on my feelings on whether I should stay with him or not. We will know if his visa is approved in August 2008 (this year). I don't know why as an intelligent person that I put up with how my life has been with him. I am at a point that I have had a relationship with another man since June of 2006 before my husband was deported. I know this sounds really bad. I did not get into a relationship with another man to get back at my husband. My husband can be really nice to me and at other times he can be really mean. I don't know what my next move should be. When he was here I was not supposed to hang out with many people and especially if they were men. I had never cheated on him in the time we were together until June 2006. He was always accusing me of those things. I had talked to someone as a friend for a while and decided I should tell him I wanted to divorce him just to "wake" him up per say but I didn't really want to divorce. Sometimes when I was at home I was not allowed to open the door to even get the mail and I would have to tell him I didn't even if I did. I have fallen in love with the man that I have been seeing but if I am supposed to be with my husband how do I deal with what I have done. I know I need to tell my husband of what I have done but I don't know if he will forgive me. I think I really want to find a way to tell him that it is over. I want to wait until he is able to come back to the United States but I don't know if I should wait that long to tell him. He doesn't even know that the church I go to is over an hour away from my home. He also thinks I am living with my sister right now. I am working but I am too afraid to tell him because it is a place that he made me quit in 2004. I know I am making him sound really bad but he is not always bad. I don't know which way to turn. Someone please help. I really need advice. I am a christian woman that has decided that I need to end the relationship I have with the other guy temporarily until I can figure it out. The only problem is that he is also my best friend and I have other friends as well as him that I won't be able to have if I stay with my husband. I don't know which I should give up...my husband or my new life.
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