
Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

deleted_user
Hi, my first post on this board.... Ok,
I have come to the conclusion that I was emotionally exploited by my mother and degraded by my father. Neither one of them loved or protected me the way parents should. Instead, they blamed me whenever it would relieve them of taking responsibility.
Anybody have any comments about how they're managing to find closure?
Wendy~
I have come to the conclusion that I was emotionally exploited by my mother and degraded by my father. Neither one of them loved or protected me the way parents should. Instead, they blamed me whenever it would relieve them of taking responsibility.
Anybody have any comments about how they're managing to find closure?
Wendy~
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yeah I guess that's certainly one way to do it physically. I was wondering how to do it emotionally, so I don't feel so angry.
yeah I've tried that too and I agree, it doesn't bring the most effective results.
Yeah a lot reponses are about just not continuing contact and I kind of feel like #7. I was hoping to break free of those memories as well as move on physically. Oh and how do you deal with holidays?
As for emotional closure? Forgive them, but more importantly, forgive yourself. Forgiveness is not for them, it is for you. It helps you release the anger and fear and then you get to move on. I'm not kidding here. Forgive yourself for putting up with it, for thinking you weren't strong enough to make it stop, for whatever it is they make you feel when you get blamed for everything. Have you ever had any counseling? Might be an avenue for you to explore.
As for the holidays, you have 2 choices, deal with them or not. Your choice. If its just more of the same with a thin veneer of holiday spirit over the top, then don't deal with it. Don't forget its your choice. Pack yourself up and go to a friend's instead if that is where you feel loved and appreciated. You'd be amazed at the kind of family you can build if you don't stick to saying that blood relations are the only sort of family you can have.
Yeah, no I haven't broken off all contact. We all share a lot of related abuse issues and it's been very complicated sorting it all out. Since I'm the one doing most of the sorting, I'm looking at ways to conclude it all so as I find myself, I can doing it, well, with a sense of peace. I've already been through so much anger, my anger at them. I loved what you said, "Forgive yourself for putting up with it, for thinking you weren't strong enough to make it stop." I never really realized but yeah, I think that's been a huge part in it and I want to think about it some more... it really hit something for me.
I'm in counseling now, and it's because of counseling that I'm trying to look for this kind of closure. I'm glad I'm on the right track because other options like cutting them out just haven't felt right. Holidays are tough because yeah it is a lot of that same veneer... The thing is, I want to be able to acknowledge the right things my parents have done despite the abusiveness.They're not Hitler, they're not monsters and there are good parts to them as well as the bad.
I think you have agreat idea about finding an extended family of sorts. I haven't had much luck with that.... I was encouraged to make friends with only the people my parents approved of. When I did make other friends they generally turned out to be very much like my parents. I have problems to overcome with that. On my list of things!! hahaha