Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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this is like a bad nightmare ...doesnt seem real

deleted_user
deleted_user
So I have been in with my husband since we were nineteen. I married him at 21. So he can definitely be a nice guy now. He is better than he was years ago, but years ago he was horrible. He even would threaten to kill me. Now his temper is still bad, but just not as bad.

My life changed so much with him; I just feel like the things I have been through aren't real. It is like they happened to someone else. Does that make sense? I just wonder how I got myself into this mess. How do I get myself out?
When will I be close to the complete person I once was, without all the damages.

The things I have been through are insane. He goes insane, and I can't believe it. It just doesn't even seem real to me, but the effects are there.

I gave him many chances, and he has never changed. He has always snapped with me again. Like a few months ago I confronted him about emails I found from him to another woman. He flipped out on me and became very violent because I told him that I think he was lying to me. Then he says he will never do it again, and yadayadayada.

I left him, but now we are back together. I really thought it was over. I just don't think it is the right time to leave. I am really scared!
deleted_user
deleted_user
We just decided to get back together.......so all of this is weird to me. I am so confused. It doesn't feel right!
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you want to stay with him, I'd suggest some couple counseling. It sounds like you both have issues and someone non-objective could help you through it. He needs to get a grip on his temper. If he can't, you need to leave before he gives you some permanent physical problems. I was in a relationship in college similar to this where we would break up and go back together repeatedly. We would get in a fight, his temper would soar and he would get physically and verbally abusive with me then I'd move out or he would move out, then a few weeks later we'd be back together trying to make it work again. It became a viscious cycle. Everyone, including the neighbors knew about this. You might need help getting your husband out of your life, call the local shelter, clergy, friends, call someone to discuss this with. Life is too short to go through it unhappy, depressed, abused and alone. Decide what you really want and go for it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
dont stay its sounds like if he hasnt already he might become physically abusive..and not just that but its obvious hes keeping things from you..go by your gut feeling with what you think you should do. God bless
deleted_user
deleted_user
His behavior is well within the realm of the personality disorders that accompany abuse. He has a lot of control over his behavior, but he slips. Yes, couple's counseling could help, but unless he gets serious and intense treatment WITHOUT YOU, there is no hope of him completely overcoming this. It has to be without you, because you are too close to him and too easy a target. He has to understand that you CAN manage without him and he has to be ok with that in order for him to completely be able to overcome his need to control you.

If you both have a commitment to making the relationship work, and he is willing to make this sacrifice, he can be one of the very few that are able to change. Otherwise, you are much better off without him.
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