Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
How has your abuser kept you away from meaningful relationships? I have noone now and he continues to berate my son every chance he gets. He had to pay back my son two weeks ago. He sent him a check. This morn he started berating him again for not cashing the check yet. He just told me it is my son's fault that we will have no money to live on if my son cashes the check.I am stunned and also sick of this crazy abusive behavior.
What can I do with someone with a twisted mind like this??
What can I do with someone with a twisted mind like this??
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Isolation is a major item in an abuser's bag of tricks. By keeping you away from friends and family, you suddenly find you have nowhere to turn if you were to decide to leave him. If I wanted to go somewhere with a friend, he was totally nervous, often came up with reasons or excuses why I couldn't. He would say that he was expecting someone to come over and it wouldn't look good if I wasn't there. He gave me such greif about some of my friends that I had to quit seeing them because it was too much to deal with. We went to my mother's for Christmas one year and there was a bad snow storm. After that, we never went to my home for Christmas because he pitched such a fit about "always" getting snowed in. When that argument didn't work he used his arthritic knee as an excuse - how the cold weather put him in such agony.
You will find that his methods of isolation and other things will get more off the wall as time goes on. The nature of a narcissist is that he believes that everyone else has the problems, not him. Unless he has some sort of miraculous epiphany that he is an abuser and seeks help to stop his behavior, you are facing a choice of two things, both of them tough: You can leave him and try to rebuild your life and self-esteem with the help of friends, family and therapy or you can just endure the constant abusive behavior by staying with him.
Men like this cannot and do not spontaneously understand their abusive nature. If you try to explain it to him, you will be accused of being too sensitive, or that you deserve it because of some character flaw that you have. Awareness and treatment are usually initiated by the partner leaving or threatening to leave. If he is serious about treatment, it has to be done in isolation and while you are separated (this is important because you enable his behavior).
There is no magic bullet in dealing with an abuser, and very few of them ever admit that they are abusers and fewer still that seek help. It is somewhere in the neighborhood of 2%.