I am beginning to think that my therapist is only pretending to believe what I go through or is minimizing it in her head. When I started therapy, my therapist wanted to talk to my husband. He was only happy to oblige, so he could do his "nice guy" act on her! She turfed him on to a male therapist, but I think some of his "nice guy" routine stuck. Now I am starting to feel shame when I tell her what is going on. It reminds me of when I was a teenager and my mother was telling everybody what a bad daughter I was and telling lies to strangers, neighbors or whoever would listen after I had moved out (ran for my life) to get away from her crazy-making behavior. I was in my last year of high school. She even told a stranger I was using drugs and she needed her to help get me to rehab. They showed up at my best friend's house and tried to pull me in a car! If you had known me then and what a moral young girl I was, you would have laughed your socks off. But this lady totally believed her - THAT WAS THE SCARY THING! I think I have spent a lot of my life trying to get people to believe me. Now, I'm starting not to trust this therapist and am finding myself wanting to shut down the next time I see her. Also, I've started not trusting my own perceptions...As in "maybe it's not as bad as I think", "Maybe I'm making too much of what goes on in my relationship with hubby". I have gotten some help from her (the therapist)and don't want to go out and start over...it took me three other therapists to get to her! One needed therapy more than me!
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