Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
As you all have read in my previous posts I was in somewhat of denial that I have been being emotionally abused for the past 5 yrs. After reading the website somebody suggested yesterday, youarenotcrazy.com I have no choice but to break the denial and realize I walked into one of the most craziest families and their circle of abuse with one another, how could they not be abusive to me, especially him? He has so many of the signs. Plays it out perfect for everyone else and treated me like he stepped on me and I was stuck to the bottom of his shoe. I can see how he was always trying to impress people outside of us especially with his money. He gets people first class seats with his sky miles, always buys lunch or dinner, gives expensive gift cards to people he works with, would offer to drive his co workers who live in the state next to us home if their plane was delayed or cancelled. I didn't get to experience that part of him. I got kicked out on a daily basis, told I had x amount of time to get out. Then I would try and leave, no stay, no go, no stay, when that stopped upsetting me, he started denying me sex, once I stopped begging for that & didn't get upset about being thrown out and started getting on my feet it was the he is moving out thing. Well, that worked for about 2 weeks and I then said yeah, you need to go, then he started with the not answering or returning my phone calls, which incidentally is the reason he says he has to leave now. That and he has to break the cycle. It has been 3 weeks and he still has yet to get his things and his mail. He says he is out of town and will when he gets back. He had the chance last week when he was in town to get his things and he didn't. He has tried to contact me twice so far this week and I have not returned any emails or texts to him. This is the first time in 5 years I have not acknowledged him in some way when he has tryed to contact me. I am finally standing my ground and it is because I read the posts on here and research on abuse and I think back over things he has said and done and I can't even imagine giving him the smallest chance to blame me for something or to talk down to me, or to just give me that darting glare of his. But I also know the lease is in his name and he can if he wants to just come back. I have been praying that he doesn't. Ugh, I hate going through this, especially since I went through this with my ex husband of 20 yrs. I hate all of the confusion and pain and everything that is involved in this.
deleted_user
Sorry to hear you are going through this. Realization is painful, but very necessary for you to start to heal. Stand your ground, it will be absolute hell at times, but once you are away for some time, you will be in disbelief as to what you have tolerated. Be forgiving of yourself, it is not your fault and learn not to accept it anymore.
psyc
I think you are doing the right thing with standing your ground.I think it would be a good time to get out of his place so you dont have to worry anymore.he sounds very manipulative.and Im so sorry you are going through this.keep your head up and stay strong. Im here if you need to talk or vent or anything.
deleted_user
Just know that you are so brave for taking a stand. Give yourself a pat on the back and be proud of yourself and tell yourself you ARE worth it. These relationships can tear down you self esteem and make you so insecure sometimes. This is just the beginning. STAY STRONG! and get out of that living situation if you can. you need to be able to close your door and not worry if he will come thru it unless invited. You need that independence right now so you can work on you. if you need to talk i'll be here
deleted_user
Keep standing strong! He figures that the longer he waits....the easier it will be to reel you back in.
Loved1
I see growth and awareness in your share. Have you read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans? It helped me understand tremendously. You are not alone. I too am going through a breakup and this is the first time I am not responding or trying to connect to my ex abuser. I'm getting a lot of strength here as I hope you are.
sleepykitten
I reckon breaking up with your abuser will be a challenge to you emotionally but don't give up! Realising what you've actually been through is the hardest thing, maybe even harder than the actual time you were being abused, I know I was in total denial. Make sure you have so so so much support from people and TALK about it! Then if your thinking something unhealthy others will know and put you straight again.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
