Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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The cycle of abuse

deleted_user
deleted_user
I managed to get away from my abusor, but my children saw a lot of what he did to me.

On monday my daughter left here to return to her home in massachusetts. I got a phone call from her as she was being driven home from the airport. Her boyfriend was beating her as we spoke. She tried to get out of the car and the b*st*rd videotaped her trying to get out. He brought her to the hospital and said she injured herself by beating her head against the window.

It's a mess. My grandson has been removed from both parents. Social services says my daughter can only see her son if his father is there. He really made her look like she was crazy with that tape.

The worst thing is that my daughter refuses to press charges because she doesn't want her child to grow up without his father around because she had to.

Anyone have a thought on how I can prevent my daughter from spending all the time and trouble I went through to try to straighten myself out?

Her son is already acting up when they argue and while he was here he beat a toy car while yelling, "No Daddy, stop daddy!"

This cycle needs to be broken. Not just in my family but in all our families.

Thanks in advance,
Sue
queenvalerie
queenvalerie
I know how simplistic this sounds, but have you actually tried sitting her down and talking to her? I mean really telling her what you went through and what you see in her relationship. Open and honest, honey, no holds barred. Tell her everything including the things you have never told anyone. Most especially how it all made you feel. That's the important part. That is the part that makes it real and she can connect to.

Good luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
If it is growing up without a father she is concerned about, ask her which is the lesser of two evils - growing up without a father or growing up to become just like him. The child needs to understand that his father's behavior is wrong, and that he has to be accountable for his actions. By not holding him accountable, the child will grow up thinking he can get away with anything, even if he knows that they are wrong, because his dad did.
deleted_user
deleted_user
that bastard, she realy needs to get out of his site for good and fight for her child, any type of abuse or abuser is sick and should not be accepted, and no if her child grows up without the father that he has is beter then he seing the father beat his mother, man which one is worse? I sure know that growing without your parents sucks in a way as my parents abandoned me as a baby and left me with an abusive auntie, and when i turn 17 i couldn't wait to see my parents and stay with them but it took 5 mins to understand my crap parents and that i didn't miss anything that they had, so if is father is a coward that beats his mum, man of course his mum has the responsability to do what is best for her son and that is for her son not to see what the father does to his mother, my father beat me up once with a hose because of my sister and that sucked as i was already being beaten up everyday by my auntie my fathers sister and what do i think about my father today? Well my father is a bastard, a coward and good for nothing any father that beats his wife and or children is an asshole, and should be in jail and throw away the keys.
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