I just got out of an abusive relationship with my husband. In his eyes he was never the abuser to this day n I was hoping that would change but not anytime soon! After all the struggle I’m viewing this experience as positive as it could have been way worse that he would have killed me, or I could have ended up with kids by this psycho... I struggle my whole life to have healthy relationship bc of my past abuse as child. It’s a situation I feel has affected everything in my life and I wish to just never speak of it again and forget about it but I can’t... I have anxiety around people and I know it’s from the abuse, I get triggered when I feel that people don’t care about me and I know its related to the past abuse, I don’t like guys who are nice to me and I know it’s related to the abuse... I’m tired at times of this struggle and I’m contemplating staying single for the rest of my life... I see the same similar stories played out through stories I hear and support groups I attend... if abuse were a disease they would call it an epidemic... it affects everyone no matter your race, no matter your age or social status... it is almost like a language that we have as a society adopted. It manifests in the workplace, at home, in school as a child, through the church! I just feel like one thing that can help is I want to say this to everyone reading this: express your emotions! Learn to express your emotions healthy, practice assertive communication, journal, channel your emotions through art, and especially to men! We tell men your weak if you show any emotion so they abnormally pretend they don’t have any n I’m sorry that screws things up for not only our men but our women also... for everyone who’s been taught to [conceal don’t feel] I say to you...
Let it go!!! Lol
why does my mother make me feel guilty for going out? I only go out once a week to see my friends and partner, its my only day off to enjoy myself and she gets angry and accuses me of things. I help with the household, pay bills and groceries for everyone. I feel like she shouldnt make me out to be some bad guy but maybe i just deserve it sometimes.
I am alone for the first time in my life and have no idea who I am any more. The only thing I am finding through research, if that many abused women (and men) become habitual liars as a means of survival. Could that be true? And if it is, how do we break the cycle? I am also finding that all abuse does not leave bruises - although I have been there too.So how do I find out who I am and...